the OTHER mother

Notes 12/29/05

Since I am having trouble thinking--and therefore posting--in coherent paragraphs, I am going to try to attempt a bullet list!

• Carrie/Jojo has outgrown most of the preemie outfits loaned to us from Aunt K!
• Our cousins from Dallas visited this week, and we had a lot of fun hanging out with them.  They brought Pearl a fabulous indoor igloo. 
• Pearl loves watching us light the menorah.  After opening her nightly present, she returns to stare at the flames .
• Marcia and I have begun speaking in spoonerisms so consistently that we don't even bother to correct one another. Tonight, for example: "Here are some socks, Jojo, and they even mouch your atfit!"
• Happy Birthday, David O!
• Pearl has switched from calling Marcia "Mama" to "Mama Mia" about 90% of the time.  She is not aware of the ABBA musical, at least to our knowledge.
• Day after dilemma: The seat of Pearl's bright red Chanukkah tricycle would not stay still.  Naturally neither Mama nor Baba nor Jojo (the skill-free bunch) were able to assist.  I walked her over to our neighbor's house, and Pearl asked David to help out using her own words: Please David help Pearl bicycle seat please.  I thought that was so cool!  And he got the tricycle fixed in less than a minute.

What She Wanted

When Pearl woke up on Christmas morning, and I went to her room to fetch her, I reminded her that we would open some of the presents under the tree that morning.  Usually Pearl and I spend an hour or two on our own downstairs, drinking our milk/coffee, talking, doing dishes/watching videos. But after I went to fetch her that morning, all four of us went downstairs together.  Pearl kept saying she wanted a choo choo, a choo choo, a choo choo.  We really had not asked her what she wanted, but the train tracks were set up at the bottom of the stairs, and Pearl was visibly pleased to see the little wooden village.  Oh to see that careful half-smile of hers!

On the one hand, the gift-giving extravaganza spurred an onslaught of the possessive pronoun in Pearl.  Marcia and I were laughing over the idea of a videotape of Pearl in which she claims: My choo choo!  My sausages!  My sister! My sky! etc.  On the other hand, though, and on a different note, after opening the packages Christmas morning (and we actually limited it to five presents and saved the rest for Chanukkah), Pearl was dumbfounded.  She kept asking me over and over, Why Pearl get all these?  How these come for Pearl?  It was one of the most touching moments of the season for me.

Greetings from Grrrlville

So many changes. This year brought us a new baby named Carrie, a hurricane named Rita, a double mortgage, a double stroller, lollipops, and dinner drops.  Sadly, we didn’t attend many art films or political rallies in 2005, but we did dance to the Wiggles, scatter glitter on the porches and walkways, and pick “flowahs,” generally from our neighbors’ yards. It was that kind of a year.

Our wishes for you this year include: camel rides, orange zinger, poetry, portulaca, and love, love, love.  Happy Holidays,

Marcia, Robin, Pearl & Carrie

Muse in a Swing

Little Jojo joined me in the study for a while tonight.  She has been rather colicky this week, and we are exhausted, the house is a wreck, and everybody cries more than perhaps necessary.  I've taken Pearl to local parks and indoor play areas each day, depending on the weather.  Today we met friends for brunch and dined outdoors.  It was fun.  Carrie's one month check up is tomorrow.  Is that possible?

Mixing the Messages

I've been meaning to ask this question for quite a while.  I wonder if you have thoughts or experience about orchestrating (euphemism!) the holidays when your family is rooted in two different traditions. 

I grew up in a Jewish family, and Marcia is from a Christian one. Our plan is to select meaningful rituals from both Christmas and Chanukah, however it would be helpful to hear how you approach this situation in your home.

BoB is Back

It's been a year, I guess.  The Best of the Blogs is back.  Nominate your favorites.  Win caffeinated prizes.

We Miss Nana

Early Saturday morning Nana left us and returned to her home in Virginia.  Now we are truly on our own in Grrrlville.  We flit between moments of okayness and moments of madness and back again.  Nana is a great sport.  In this photo (right), for example, she's wearing Pearl's Wiggles sunglasses.  In the other photos (left), she took us to pet the goats, camels, and donkeys at a church in our neighborhood. 

In the weeks she stayed with us, she led Pearl in all sorts of projects.  They made pumpkin pies, embellished gingerbread houses with colorful candy, and decorated Pearl's small tree (rosemary, really) with all her favorite creatures. Grandparents rock.

A Bit about Carrie

Carrie has a bunch of stomach aches that seem to always strike between 7 p.m. and midnight.  Beyond those 5 "witching hours," she is an easy baby and often sleeps through the dog-barking-loud-ranting-lightning-striking chaos that we call home these days. 

Carrie seems very interested in our faces and likes for us to talk or sing to her.  Pearl loves to hold her or lie beside her and hold her hands or kiss her head.  Carrie is a lot smaller than Pearl was when she was born, and for us parents, that has taken some getting used to. And although Nana likes to call Carrie "precious," she seems to be a force to be reckoned, even at this early age.  That's when we call her Jojo.

All-American Story

Sunday we went on our first family outing as a foursome.  Nana came too, and she was a welcome addition.

At the zoo they had a holiday celebration for children.  Carrie spent the entire time in the sling.  Marcia said she was surprised at how many people told her they had never seen a sling before.  Pearl decorated a star-shaped cookie and ate it.  She rode on the carousel. The giraffe (raff!) is still one of her very favorite animals. 

Lately Pearl is obsessed with "guys who play music."  She was disappointed that the choirs at the zoo that night only sang songs. Apparently she thinks that real musicians play instruments, the louder, the better.

With Nana squished between the car seats of our Subaru station wagon, we sped home at 7 p.m.  Marcia looked back at Nana's precarious position, and even she conceded: bring on the minivan! 

Words, Come Here

Today I'm back to work after two weeks with the expansion family.  Once again I want to tip my proverbial hat to you stay-at-home-moms. Having a "real" job is a whole lot easier.

It was really hard for me to write anything about the famiy while I was home.  The words just weren't coming to me.  Maybe I need a little distance from the scene, in order to figure out what I want to say.

Here's a picture of Carrie taken this past weekend.  She's still wearing "preemie" pajamas, but she's filling them up more and looking healthier and happier.

Two Sisters

Pearl is really into Baby Carrie and wants to hold her whenever we will allow it.  We've been "narrating" Baby Carrie's utterances for Pearl.  As you might guess, Carrie is impressed with Pearl and the sky is the limit!

O Taste & See

Birth Stories

Every mom has a birth story.  It's part of the lore of womanhood to share birth stories and bond over them.  I never really told Pearl's birth story because this blog began with her birth announcement.  Without going back and rehashing the past, I will summarize by saying that we prepared for natural childbirth, spent 48 hours in labor, and then things got complicated and the midwives ordered a c-section.

For Carrie's birth, the c-section was recommended from the get-go.  We worked with an ObGyn instead of midwives.  Although Marcia was very nervous about undergoing another surgery, in retrospect she says that a c-section is easier to recover from when you forgo the 48 hours of labor.  Go figure.

So the second birth was very different and strange in that we had a date and time for Jojo's arrival a few weeks ahead of time. The in-laws bought their plane tickets. A process that is known for its surprises didn't have very many this time around.  It made me uneasy, the predictability of it all, but I suppose I should be thankful. 

Because the baby was not "distressed," Marcia and I got to hold her during much of the surgery.  Carrie is a whole two pounds lighter than Pearl.  When we heard that news, we concluded that our estimation of the due date had been right and that the doctor's had been wrong.  It's bizarre that you can tell a doctor the insemination date, but if she didn't perform the procedure herself, she will invariably make the determination of a due date on her own.  This happened with my two pregnancies too. 

These days I remember often what my friend Katherine said between the births of her two children.  She said that in her first pregnancy she focused on the fact of the birth itself.  In the second pregnancy, though, you realize that the birth is just the beginning, and that the story unfolds with each new day.

My Turn