Our friends at Mombian (Sustenance for Lesbian Moms) have proclaimed today, June 1st, as day to honor gay and lesbian families. And while we at Grrrlville try to cheer for such families every day, we also never ever ever forgo an opportunity to celebrate.
We live in Texas, a state that provides very limited legal foothold for a lesbian family such as ours. In the last round of elections, Texans voted for an anti-gay-marriage amendment, even though one already existed in the state law. In Houston, even the City Comptroller (similar to a deputy mayor) could not do a second parent adoption in our county.
Despite the stodginess of Texas politics, we as a family feel very fortunate. As a child, I can remember making an important announcement to my family. I told them that when I grew up, instead of having children, I would have puppies. Everyone laughed and imagined bizarre scenes from B-movies about aliens. For decades, I could not imagine how it would be possible for me to become a parent. And yet: I am a parent. Marcia and I have two healthy, beautiful human children. Our extended families are warm, supportive, and embracing of us. Our neighbors have more-than-accepted us as we are.
Marcia and I have made extra efforts to protect the children legally in the ways that seem to us in their best interest. It has been expensive, but we have managed it. We had to drive across the state, but we did the second parent adoption for Pearl two years ago, and Carrie's is scheduled for next month. We have updated wills and other legal documents. The situation is not ideal, but the joy overpowers the unfairness on a daily basis.
Personally, I would not have chosen to make gay marriage THE issue involving gay and lesbian equal rights. Maybe I'm just a weenie, but I'm not one of those people who ever dreamed of getting married. I always imagined falling in love and being in a partnership, but the wedding ceremony itself never appealed to me. In terms of the current political situation, my belief is simply that the laws should be fair. Gay and straight partners should receive equal treatment in the law, and the children in their families should not suffer, due to lack of legal protection, benefits, and so on. Whether the partnership is called marriage, civil union, domestic partnership, or Night of the Living Dead, that's not my issue.
If you'd like to Blog for GLBT Families on your blog, please join us. Mombian.com has all the information that you will need. Happy Family Day to you!
Hi, I just popped in here from Mombian to read all the post that participated today. I'm really enjoying reading everyone's posts and also finding some great blogs. Great post! Thanks!
Hi, I just popped in here from Mombian to read all the post that participated. It was great to read your post from the point of view of having a wonderful understanding family! I'm so glad I stopped by.
Posted by: Unbalanced | 01 June 2006 at 08:06 AM
Hi. I enjoyed ready your posting. I think that the fight for marriage is absolutely the right thing for us. You said it yourself that you live in a state that provides little legal foothold. "Marriage" would provide you with the over 1000 benefits afforded married couples in this country. Legal papers are nice but I know of situations where a partner has died alone in a hospital because the healthy partner did not have the paperwork with her when they were rushed to the hospital. Travesties that should never occur.
Please think about becoming active in the movement to fight for "marriage" rights.
Posted by: Patti | 01 June 2006 at 12:10 PM
I too am trying to read and respond to as many posts as I can.
What a blessing to have a wonderful family like yours. You are right about wanting to have fair laws that protect everyone. We will have that someday, I hope.
I used this special "Families Day" to announce to my blogging friends that my daughter, Kristi, is expecting twins. Our family is so proud of her.
Posted by: Maria | 01 June 2006 at 02:05 PM
Just got around to reading this - it's been a really hectic week. All I can say is that I am sorry we live in such a bass-ackwards state that doesn't recognize the rare and wonderful value of love. I think the denial of marriage (And adoption! and Parenting!) rights is an awful thing to do and I really can't get my brain around how they couch this issue as "family friendly". There are no guarantees in straight marriages, either (over 50% divorce rate!), so why can't people (consenting adults) who really want to try to make a go of a life together be allowed to do so? Life is so short and joy is so rare.
Ok, off my soapbox. But I still don't understand it.
Posted by: Sally | 02 June 2006 at 12:18 PM
Hello, I agree entirely. Marriage is such a peripheral issue. There are so many more issues at stake. I live in Australia, with my partner and our two year old who was conceived with a friend's help. We are a family in everyone's eyes except the government's. But we are happy and healthy, and our son loves us both equally. That's all that matters.
Posted by: A | 03 June 2006 at 01:24 AM