Congrats to Kathy Belge and Gina Daggett on the publication of their new book, Lipstick and Dipstick: The Essential Guide to Lesbian Relationships. It hit the shelves last week.
You may know the butch/femme duo through their popular column in Curve Magazine or their blog. Is this book on your wish list?
Here's one of my habits. I wonder if it's weird or if others share it. When I'm traveling, I always like to read books set in or about the places I visit.
Nearly a dozen years ago I spent a month traveling around Italy with my friend Amy. We both read the book Italian Days by Barbara Grizzuti Harrison, passing it back and forth as we burned holes in our rail passes. 
Because Amy and I are both writers, we are pretty clear, usually, about the craft of writing, i.e. the difference between the narrator of the book and the person who wrote it. Nevertheless, by the end of the trip, it felt a bit like three of us were touring. We'd say things like, I agree with Barbara's comments about Venetian architecture, but I think your description of the squid cooked in its own ink captures what I experienced.
For me, reading literature is an experience that deepens my sense of the place.
On the trip to Los Angeles this past week, I read Ask the Dusk by John Fante. It's a novel that 
had a big impact on the beat generation. As far as I know, it doesn't have a big following in literary circles. I didn't realize it until I starting searching for an image for this post, but apparently it was made into a movie last year. The stars are Salma Hayek, Colin Farrel, and Donald Sutherland. Did you happen to see it? It seems to have received only so-so ratings. The book leaves you ragged. I'm not totally sure why I liked it even. The racism of the characters is disturbing. But something about it was good. Maybe it's that I have a weakness for books about writers.
I also read some nonfiction: City of Quartz by Mike Davis and Washed Up by Skye Moody. Both books have a curious tone to them, but I think once I started reading fiction, I really wanted more, more, more of the same.
Your turn, dear reader.
Today I am fishing for book recommendations. We have a nice collection of fictional picture books for Pearl and Carrie. Our collection leans toward imaginary adventures and talking animals. We'd like to add some books for the summer that are either nonfiction or simply more realistic stories. But they should be beautiful and well written, of course!
Pearl (age 3) likes dinosaurs, cars, trains, storytelling, and nature. Carrie (age 1.5) likes babies, animals, and life-skills such as cooking, cleaning, getting dressed, and gardening.
Three books that we already own that illustrate
what I have in mind might be Flotsam by David Wiesner or Planting a Rainbow by Lois Ehlert or The Paperboy by Dav Pilkey. If you have suggestions for our summer reading list, please let us know.
Tonight I picked up Chinese food on the way home from work. We've been reading Dim Sum for Everyone by Grace Lin, a book suggested to us by our friend Tae. Pearl and Carrie decided to give the chopsticks a try. They ate and laughed and laughed some more. It was a fun meal.
This weekend Marcia worked both Saturday and Sunday. Pearl, Carrie, and Baba did many outdoor activities. We played in parks, went to a farmer's market, took walks, and played in the sprinkler in the backyard. It's cool that the girls can play
together more now. They
really crack each other
up. Of course they also already make each
other furious, but much of the time they seem to be allies.
Do you remember in May when an essay I wrote was published in a book by Beacon Press? It's called Confessions of the Other Mother: Nonbiological Lesbian Moms Tell All, edited by Harlyn Aizley. Well, that book was nominated for a Lambda Literary Award. But even better than that, it is a finalist.
The Awards Ceremony will be on May 31st in NYC. You can see the complete list of finalists here.
I've mentioned before Pearl's love of trains. We saw a train on the way to her school and another on the way home. She was excited. We both love Liz Rosenberg's picture book, Adelaide and the Night Train. Here's a train poem I will post for my girl.
Yes, friends, crazy Jojo (Carrie) can sit and twist and shout. She is a tiny, human tumbleweed, rolling across the prairie of our lives. And oh, what a screamer!Is there a book (or song or video) that your kid loves that you hate?
My least favorite books that we own are the Barney books. I don't how or know why we have them in the house! Hand-me-downs, most likely. In my spare time (ha ha), I plan to confiscate them!
A close friend of mine once told me that Barney (the TV version) was the best form of birth control ever invented. However the effectiveness of this method is apparently short-lived because a year after she told me that, her husband got a vasectomy.
As the world turns....
Amazon.com is still showing Confessions of the Other Mother, the new book that my essay's published in, as "soon to be released." Here are a few places that appear to be selling it right now: Two Lives, Rainbow Books, and UUA.
To see the previous post about this book, edited by Harlyn Aizley, click here.
Have you heard about Moms Rising yet? MomsRising.org is a new online grassroots movement to harness mom power, and you can join for free by hopping over to their website. Here some of from their introduction:
What would most moms like for Mothers Day? Not flowers, or a
necklace or even a new picture to hang on the fridge. What moms
really want are the policies and programs that would help families --
things like paid family leave, flexible work options, subsidized
childcare, and adequate healthcare. Our nation simply doesn’t
have policies and programs in place to support mothers and families – but
now moms can do something about it by logging on to
www.momsrising.org and signing up.
MomsRising co-founders Joan Blades (co-founder of MoveOn.org) and Kristin
Rowe-Finkbeiner co-authored a newly released book, The Motherhood
Manifesto, which features stories of dozens of mothers with diverse
experiences, and details the MomsRising agenda. It will be published on the website, one chapter at a time.
To summarize, MomsRising gives people a voice in the motherhood and family issues that are shaping our lives. Selah!
Here's a new book, hot off the
presses, as the say, and guess who has an essay included in it? The book is
called Confessions
of the Other Mother: Nonbiological Lesbian Moms Tell All!
Edited by Harlyn Aizley, author of Buying Dad: One Woman’s Search for the
Perfect Sperm Donor, this book gathers the stories of eighteen
nonbiological moms who have created the"other mother" role with a
personal flair.
I got a contributor's copy a few
weeks ago. The official publication date is Mother's Day, but you should
be able to find a copy for your sweetie now. On amazon.com today it still
gives the pre-order option, but Beacon Press assures me that copies are
available in bookstores already.
When I was a chlld, my family lived near train tracks. My favorite childhood dream was about a train. To this day, I find great solace in the sounds of the railroad.
Pearl and I are both enjoying the picture book Adelaide and the Night Train by Liz Rosenberg.
Little Owl Who Lives in the Orchard
His beak could open a bottle,
and his eyes - when he lifts their soft lids -
go on reading something
just beyond your shoulder -
Blake, maybe,
or the Book of Revelation.
Never mind that he eats only
the black-smocked crickets,
and the dragonflies if they happen
to be out late over the ponds, and of course
the occasional festal mouse.
Never mind that he is only a memo
from the offices of fear -
it’s not size but surge that tells us
when we’re in touch with something real,
and when I hear him in the orchard
fluttering
down the little aliminum
ladder of his scream -
when I see his wings open, like two black ferns,
a flurry of palpitations
as cold as sleet
rackets across the marshlands
of my heart
like a wild spring day.
Somewhere in the universe,
in the gallery of important things,
the babyish owl, ruffled and rakish,
sits on its pedestal.
Dear, dark dapple of plush!
A message, reads the label,
from that mysterious conglomerate:
Oblivion and Co.
The hooked head stares
from its house of dark, feathery lace.
It could be a valentine.
by Mary Oliver
"How wonderful that no one need wait a single 
moment to improve the world."
--Anne Frank (1929-1945)
When it comes to these memes, I am so lame. Even when I have responded by posting a response to my blog, I tend to address only the questions that suit me. The rest--whatever! My friend Guusje tagged me a week ago with the meme of sevens. We'll see how much I'm up to today. And I'll keep adding as the weeks go by until I have seven of everything.
Seven Books
The God of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
Tender Buttons, Gertrude Stein
One Hundred Years of Solitude, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
A Palace of Pearls, Jane Miller
Jesus' Son, Denis Johnson
The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles, Haruki Murakami
Seven Films
The Deep End
Rivers and Tides (Andy Goldsworthy)
Roman Holiday
Seven Things I say all the time
How's my girl?
Seven Things I'd really like to do (with no due consideration of reality)
Walk across Europe
Dedicate a month-long retreat to my writing
Go on a cycling trip with my brother
Live in Italy for a summer with my familia
Paint
Please feel free to do the meme yourself, either on your blog or as a comment below.
Ask “What’s possible?” not “What’s wrong?” Scene 1:
When Pearl was born, our friend Patsy Cooper gave her a number of picture books. Pearl loves all of these books, but lately one that intrigues her is a simple story called Babies by Gyo Fujikawa. Patsy is an expert in early childhood education, and she wrote us a letter explaining how these stories would figure into Pearl's development in her first few years. None of these books struck me as particularly profound, but I have the utmost respect for our friend Patsy, and Pearl seemed to like the books, so I decided to wait and see.
Scene 2:
This week I am starting to see something curious at meal times. It all started when she began feeding pieces of her dinner to the dog. We encouraged her to eat the food in her plate and let Jake eat his own food in his dog bowl. This directive spawned a host of creative responses that capture the true spirit of the toddler sensibility. For instance,
Our response: We put the dog outside.
To use the diction of Fujikawa's book, I think this would be called "naughty" behavior. Pearl knows "without a shadow of a doubt" that she is not supposed the throw food on the floor. And yet she does throw the food. Gleefully.
Background:
The book Babies outlines some of the things babies do--eat, sleep, etc. It tells what babies like and dislike. Then it explains that soon they will be able to do things all by themselves. Next--the clincher--we're told that sometimes they are "naughty" and sometimes they are "little angels." Each of these concepts is illustrated with various pictorial examples. Then the ending: but good or bad, all babies want to be loved.
Analysis:
As I said, I wouldn't have chosen this book on my own. I have a Ph.D. in literature, and the "good or bad" oversimplification grates on my nerves. But I do notice that Pearl is fascinated by the good page and the bad page, especially the bad page! She studies each illustration carefully. I think that she is learning something. I'm not sure what!
Scene 3:
Sunday night. Scene escalates, as per scene 2. I warn a time or two, then remove the plate, unstrap her from the high chair, and place her on the floor. I clear the plates, and before I realize what's happening, I catch her eating the food from the floor. The floor is dirty! I am mortified! What have I done!
Conclusion:
And so we are all initiated into a new era of being parents and child, the first of many events that we will negotiate together, I have a feeling....
For a month or two last summer, Pearl seemed to hate books. She seemed bored by them. Then we hit on the idea of letting her turn the pages herself, and that made a huge difference. We've continued to read to her every day, and she seems to be developing her own relationship to stories.
Now she appears to enjoy her books. We can recite the first sentence or two of her favorite stories, and she will find the book and bring it to us. For English major moms such as us, it's very beautiful.
Sometimes to switch things up, we tell her stories that aren't from books. We include words we know she recognizes, such as CAT and BANANA. They often turn out absurd--one day a cat and a banana went to play together at the park--but they are stories we make up just for her. The key words of that sentence are: for her.
What stories are popular in your family lately?
My friend Stuart has handed me The Stick, a list of questions that I am to answer and pass along to three other bloggers. Here's the meme, at its finest:
Without further ado, questions and answers:
You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be? The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami
Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Of course! Both characters in movies and in books. First one that came to mind: the Jodie Foster character in Hotel New Hampshire, viewed at age 20 or so.
The last book you bought is: Under Flag by Myung Mi Kim
The last book you read: NEST by Mei-Mei Berssenbrugge
What are you currently reading? Great American Prose Poems, ed. David Lehman
Five books you would take to a deserted island: Tender Buttons, The Great Gatsby, Collected Emily Dickinson, One Hundred Years of Solitude, and a cook book.
That's the Stick. And now, I pass the stick on to:
And anyone else who feels like playing. Enjoy!
This is in response to Julie's post at Mom in the Mirror. Her question is, "What books changed your life?" The answer is: so many. And yet, although I have pondered this for a week now, the titles have not flooded my brain.
Transformative books depend on a synchronicity of text and time. For a book to change your life, you have to read it at the right time. You are probably on the crest of the wave of change already, and the book provides the extra push. Or, to mix up the metaphors even more, the text crystalizes an understanding that was in your mind already but was disorganized. So, for example, many friends talk about Catcher in the Rye as a life-changing book that they read as young teenagers, but I didn't read it until I was 24 years old. Needless to say, it had a less palpable effect on me, even though I consider it a good book.
Here's my first attempt at a list, and if I continue to revise my answer for the next two years, you can't say I didn't warn you. I've put them in chronological order, based on when I read them, beginning at age 15.
Demian by Hermann Hesse
U.S.A. (the trilogy) by John Dos Passos
The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers
Pieces by Robert Creeley
The Book of Laughter and Forgetting by Milan Kundera
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Doctor Sax by Jack Kerouac
3 Lives by Gertrude Stein
Ghost Dance by Carole Maso
The Sea of Light by Jenifer Levin
The Shipping News by E. Annie Proulx
The Passion by Jeanette Winterson
Elizabeth Bishop: Life and the Memory of It by Brett Millier
The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami
If you ever had any doubt about me being a complete egghead, now you know for sure. Feel free to add your own list in the comment section below.
Ever since I started blogging I've been following the saga of City Mama and her hilarious child, Bunny. I chose the word "saga" intentially because in the past 8 months a whole lot has happened with their family. I've never actually met Bunny, but I love reading about her.
Lately Pearl's favorite book is called I am a Bunny by Ole Risom. We read it forwards, backwards, and upside down. The Richard Scarry illustrations have an unusual depth. The bunny, Nicholas by name, tells what he likes about each of the seasons. Pearl turns the pages herself now. She is a very athletic turner of pages!
It's interesting to me to try to imagine why certain books appeal to her more than others. Here in Houston, we don't have four seasons. Maybe two? But she couldn't know that yet.
Her favorite picture seems to be the one with pictures of frogs. The one page she seems to dislike is the one in which the bunny goes to sleep. Have you noticed how many children's books for kids this age end with the character going to sleep? Maybe Marcia and I have projected this--but we've both noticed it separately--when we get to a picture with a character going to sleep, Pearl SLAMS the book shut with extra zeal. For the new readers, I will simply add: Our little bunny does not like going to bed one bit.
Have you noticed certain images that you child adores or abhors?
I must confess that 
TIS THE SEASON has me feeling a little overwhelmed. A few months ago, Marcia and I hired a babysitter so that we could sit down at a cafe and think. We wrote up our new values, because now that we are parents the values have shifted a little bit. Our list was meant to become a kind of ten commandments for this new phase of our lives.
As I review our list of ten, what I observe is that parenting has brought to us a need to state the obvious. For example, value number one is: Sleep is crucial. Before Baby Pearl, we never had to write that down, even though it was equally true.
I am reminded of that chapter in One Hundred Years of Solitude in which the entire village experiences an "epidemic" of insomnia. Due to the rampant lack of sleep, the people of the town start losing their grip on reality. In order to preserve order, they begin labeling things, just in case their collective memory escapes them. At first they simply label a window with the word WINDOW, and a door with the word DOOR. As the insomnia progresses, they leave themselves notes with messages saying: GOD EXISTS.
Eventually someone figures it out. The animal cookies that have become so popular in the village have caused this sleeplessness. Chaos is replaced by order once again.
I wish a solution with such elegant straightforwardness were in the offing for us, but somehow I doubt it. My answer, for the time being, involves dimples. I look at our little girl's face, and somehow it is all worth it. It really and truly is.
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