This past weekend our friend Kevin gave Pearl and a dozen other neighborhood kids their first surfing lesson. We traveled the one hour to Galveston beach in a caravan of minivans and station wagons. Marcia and I were amazed that Pearl not only stood up on the surfboard but stayed up. We, the parents, were squealing like teeny boppers at a Jonas Brothers concert. Pearl, however, remained completely nonchalant. Just another day.
How did we get here?
Tonight was the first parent night at Pearl's new school, so Marcia and I both attended, and Marty the babysitter came to hang out with Pearl and Carrie. We are delighted with all the people at the school and feel fortunate to be a part of the community. The teachers are professional and passionate and attuned to the individual child. Our teacher said she wanted to be Lucy Caulkins when she grew up. I was impressed with that.
Nevertheless, the feeling of being parents in a PTA is a bit of a shock to the system. We didn't notice any other two-mom or two-dad families at the event. The discomfort was nothing a good frozen margarita with salt ($4 special on Ladies Night) couldn't quell however. When we got home, the babysitter told us Pearl's last words before she went to sleep. She sat up in bed and screamed: MARTY, I'M IN KINDERGARTEN!!!
Here are pictures of Pearl's first moments in kindergarten.
Pearl's classmate Nathan shares a funny book.
(Thanks, Diana, for taking these photos. We forgot our camera.)
Since Pearl starts kindergarten next week, we've been thinking a lot about our early school experiences. What do you remember about kindergarten?
1. Pearl starts kindergarten in one week! Pearl starts kindergarten in one week! Pearl starts kindergarten in one week! I'm hyperventilating. Is this for real?
1.5. Both girls will be at new schools. Also they will not be at the same school. Lots of change.
2. The girls took swimming lessons in June and August. They've made a lot of improvement with the help of their cool teacher whose name btw is Cricket.
3. BAD news: Lori Hahn might stop blogging! Make her feel the love!
4. My knee is bothering me.
5. Next month Marcia and I are going on a getaway. Yes, a weekend away. Just us! If you have suggestions for a wondrous destination, let us know. Both of our passports have expired, so it can't be in a foreign country.
The kids have put this little dog to the test, and he's passed. Flying colors! Happy Birthday, Cody!
Carrie (age 3.5) has been a little slow to do representational art. I think that she feels like she can't do it as well as Pearl so she often doesn't try. But check this out! She seems to be suddenly drawing things with a vengeance!
For the last month of summer vacation, Marcia got an idea. She got the idea from our friend Annie's SprogBlog. Annie tells about her children's amazing hikes and feats in the wilderness. Annie believes that achieving a big challenge over the summer helps a child start the new school year with greater self-confidence. Makes sense, right?
Marcia read to the girls some of the stories about Aidan and El. Then she asked Pearl and Carrie to come up with a challenge for themselves. Pearl said she wanted to learn some tricks in skateboarding. Carrie said she wanted to try to ride a horse. They both want to improve their swimming. Carrie wants to go camping in the living room. Pearl also wants to "climb to the top of the Grand Canyon."
Except for the Grand Canyon one, all the suggestions seemed within reason. So as I go to work each weekday, the grrrls are blazing trails all around H-town. Watch out for them!
Mombian sponsors the Blogging for LGBT Families blog carnival each year to orchestrate our hundreds of voices in praise of LGBT families around the world. Feel free to join in.
This year Monday, June 1st, is Blogging for LGBT Families Day 2009. It is also Marcia and my 12th anniversary. Lots to celebrate today--love, families, and happiness.
Marcia and I first met because two of our mutual friends wanted us to meet. It was awkward and artificial. It was not a date, but it was most certainly SET UP. We were helping one of the aforementioned mutual friends move into a new apartment. We "ended up" in the same car for each run. It was 5 months later that we decided that maybe they were right. I guess they were.
Last year we both forgot our anniversary. We managed a little better this year, even arranging a date night at an outdoor concert featuring Esperanza Spalding this past weekend. A dozen years together. That's something, I think. Something big. Wow.
Love is what it's all about.
Thanks, sweetie. And happy anniversary!
I've always appreciated Marcia. Well, almost always. But this past weekend the appreciation was manifold!
Up until now, I've been the solo parent for no more than a single night. This weekend Marcia went to an unofficial college reunion and was gone four days. Yes, readers, FOUR DAYS! [Insert violin music here.]
At the same time, my G-dmother, who lives in Dallas, was celebrating her 75th birthday by doing her bat mitzvah. Much of my family was attending so I loaded up the kids and drove to the Big D.
As you might already know, the bar/bat mitzvah ceremony is traditionally a coming of age ritual. The adult bat mitzvah has become more common in recent years because most of Judaic history was not as Equal Opportunity as today's Judaism. Aunt Elise started studying Torah a year or two ago. Her children, her grandchildren, her brothers-in-law and cousins and all done their bar/bat mitzvah, and she decided that she could do it too. And so she did.
The service was very beautiful. The musicians played guitar, flute, and drums, the singers were all women, and the songs were more like Debbie Friedman compositions, rather than the traditional cantorial style. And although Aunt Elise, through date of birth and luck of the draw, got the most boring Torah portion ever, she somehow still managed to deliver a poignant, thought-provoking, and moving sermon. Congrats, to my wonderful g-dmother!
As for solo parenting, the challenges were many, but nobody got hurt. At the hotel, my brother told me in the first hour that one his goals for the weekend was to give his kids (four of them, twins Pearl's age and twins Carrie's age) as much pool time as he could so they'd be comfortable in the water before starting swim lessons next week. That sounded good to me so I quickly adopted this goal for our family and spent many hours in the water.
The benefits of this plan were (at least) two-fold. Not only do the girls seem ready to become starfish next week, but they were also SO tired by bedtime that they didn't even miss Marcia. At least they didn't mention it.
That, friends, was my Marcia Appreciation Weekend. On Monday (Memorial Day) we were all happy to be reunited in H-town.
Photos by David Reagler (a.k.a. Dad/Pop)
These are the cousins, Tillie and Louis, who graduated from Pre-K last week. They're Pearl's age, five. We did their naming ceremony together, all three of them, in May 2004.
What's up with same-sex marriage? Suddenly all 50 states are rushing to legalize it? Has the great race for equality finally kicked in? I'm rubbing my eyes as I cruise the news. Should I start saving up for the big W? This is not really something that I've been anticipating.Where would I begin? Help!
Today was Pearl's fifth birthday, and I've been feeling excessive nostalgia for the past week. All the cliches about time flying are so trite and yet so true!
This morning all of us got to be a part of the birthday circle ritual that they follow in many Montessori schools. The child carries the earth around the "sun" (the candles in the center) for each year of her life. For each year she tells what kinds of things she did at that age and shows a picture of herself from that time.
This was the third year Pearl has been in this Montessori classroom, and she was very excited about the ceremony. When Marcia and I first arrived, Carrie, who is also a member of this class, announced loudly to no one in particular: I TOLD YOU MY PARENTS WERE COMING FOR PEARL'S BIRTHDAY!
You can see pictures from the weekend here. Her party, with its unusual theme of "The Dog Whisperer" turned out great. Some friends even brought their dogs. Cody, whom I exercised extremely well earlier in the day, was a perfect little fellow.
No, Cesar Millan, the TV dog whisperer did not make a live appearance, but nobody seemed disappointed. Not one bit.
5th Birthday to Pearl.
The Other Mother has hit another milestone. It's been 5 years, folks. I started the blog a week before Pearl was born, and she'll be 5 next week. Here's a link to the first posts from way back in 2004.
Other good blog news: The Other Mother made the “Top 100 Healthy Mom Blogs” this year, as did our friends at Mombian. The list was compiled by RNCentral, a blog for nursing students.
A five star day, I'd like to think.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. That's not exactly what I think, but absence certainly can help put into focus the fondness that you feel. I've been in Chicago this week for the AWP Conference, so I'm absent not only for Valentine's Day but for my valentine's birthday.
Happy Birthday, Marcia. Happy Valentines Day. Thank you for twelve wonderful years, the best years of my life so far. Thank you for your love which is unconditional (I hope) and constant. Let me be your "forever dog."
I love you so much, Robin
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Note: This post is last of five entries, part of a blog carnival celebrating Freedom to Marry Week 2009. If you'd like to check out all the bloggers who participated, see this complete list.
Susan Naomi Bernstein on Facebook
The Birmingham-Luther Family Blog
Blue is my favorite color, and it always has been. In my writing I use the word "blue" often. It seems to represent all that is. In this photo, for instance, of earth taken from outer space, the demarcations between land and sea, earth and sky, are impossible to distinguish.
Today's post is dedicated to all of you in the process of trying to start a family. I rarely share my own poems but here is a rare exception. I wrote this about before Marcia and I started to TTC (trying to conceive) process.
Blue That’s Almost Blue
To
a Child, Unborn
A calm moon lends a hush within the room
the night outside fills its envelope with dread
a claw of hope scratches its name across clay
I don't know what to feel because I’m rising into
deep blue music a ceremony of inner weather
I marvel over an imagined, sleeping infant
who dreams of islands I've never visited
never will He and I are two
bodies trembling and separate now and always I
hold my breath, a hostage of the sky.
by Robin Reagler
published in Runes
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Note: This post is part of a blog carnival celebrating Freedom to Marry Week 2009. Feel free to write your own post on your blog or facebook page. Then leave the link to your "something new" post, and I will share it with the group. Check out the other posts on this topic:
About.com: Lesbian Life by Kathy Belge
Susan Naomi Bernstein on Facebook and YouTube
The Birmingham-Luther Family Blog
The Longest Road - Yet Untraveled
When it comes to outfitting the kids, I love hand-me-downs. I love that they're free and easy, of course. That's a given. But mostly I love them because they're full of stories.
The red shirt that Carrie is wearing in this picture first belonged to her cousin Max. He's 15 now. Red was and still is his favorite color. Then it was his sister Sarah's, then Pearl's, and now it's Carrie's. I look at it and remember my niece and nephew. I remember how they grow up so fast--Max is already 5'10"! Perhaps this is overly sentimental on my part, but I really see the shirt as a connection from one kid to the next. Sibling to cousin to friend, and on down the line.
88888
Note: This post is part of a blog carnival celebrating Freedom to Marry Week 2009. Feel free to write your own post on your blog or facebook page. Then leave the link to your "something new" post, and I will share it with the group. Check out the other posts on this topic:
About.com Lesbian Life by Kathy Belge
Susan Naomi Bernstein on Facebook
The Longest Road - Yet Untraveled
Next week is Freedom to Marry Week. Who wants to celebrate LOVE?
I hope you will join me in this blog carnival, which we began last year. The way it works is simple. Each day next week, post to your blog or facebook page something on these topics, according to the "olde" wedding tradition:
Tuesday, Feb. 10... Something Old
Wednesday, Feb. 11... Something New
Thursday, Feb. 12... Something Borrowed
Friday, Feb. 13... Something Blue
Saturday, Feb. 14... Valentine's Day: Celebrate Love
You can post a photo, a memory, a poem, some music, or a combination. Try to surprise us. And once you're done with your post, if you leave a link in the comment section, everyone will be able to check out what you've done.
Feel free to link to The Other Mother, using the "Something" badge. If you're not a blogger, you can participate by leaving a comment. I will be posting links to all contributions here. Just leave the URL as a comment. You can participate all week or whenever you have the time. I'll start by compiling a list of participants, so let me know if you're "in".
If you want to make your story easy to find, use the keyword something2009 .
We celebrated our friend's birthday at the skate park Saturday afternoon. It was our first visit there, and Pearl is very interested in skating now. Do you know of a good book or video about girls/kids and skateboarding?
Favorite object = blue blankie
Favorite book = buster by denise fleming
Favorite animal = puppy
Career aspiration = super hero
Today Pearl and Carrie and their classmates brought their parents back to school. The idea is that the students get to demonstrate to their parents what they're learning. Marcia took these pictures of the girls. Pearl's confidence is a bit more evident than her sister's on this particular occasion.
10. She Is - Pearl's Birth Announcement (March 2004) includes a recipe for smothered okra!
9. Birthday Rap - Marcia's Song for Robin's Birthday (September 2008)
8. Question of the Day: Politics and the English Language (October 2008) your thoughts on the BIden/Palin debate
6. Meet the Blogger: Polly Pagenhart of LesbianDad
5. A Costume Question (October 2004)
4. Reader Appreciation Day (April 2008) introducing a meme for bloggers to thank the readers
1. She Was Really Saying Something (Feb. 2008) introducing a meme to celebrate Freedom to Marry week
Yes, friends, you thought it would never happen. I, too, had my doubts. But meet Cody, a black lab puppy. We adopted him from one of the rescue groups yesterday.
For Local Blog
