the OTHER mother

Backwards Glance

Looking back at mid-May of yesteryear, feel free to stroll down memory lane with us:

The Clean Team (May 2007)

Carrie's First Food (May 2006)

Way 2 Go Pearl (May 2005)

Why I Started Blogging (May 2004)

How to Be a Poem

Last week Marcia and I led a poetry activity with Pearl's preschool class in celebration of National Poetry Month. 

We were a little hesitant about this venture because neither of us has experience in teaching this age group. Also the fact that the kids range in age from 3-7 years old made us a little anxious.

Our trepidations turned out to be unwarranted, however. The children had great fun coming up with their own line for the collaborative writing project we chose for them. 

We divided the class into two groups to do the writing (dictating, really) on long rolls of paper. Then each group presented what they had written to the other. We'd defined a poem as a gift made out of words, so this fit into the plan nicely. They laughed and cheered for every line.

When we were done, we combined the two banners filled with words, and the class poem was born:

Olivia is a butterfly flying to a leaf to lay her eggs.
Charlotte is a unicorn flying and playing with her friend.
Liliana is a horse eating hay on the farm.
Alex is an ant biting a kid.
Gillian is a dragonfly flying in the sky close to the roses.
Angela is a blue butterfly laying eggs on a rubber tree.
Zachary is a lion eating a zebra in the forest.
Lucia is a baby zebra playing with her mom and then sleeping.
Pearl is a cheetah running to a cave with hyenas.
Brandon is an elephant eating hay in Africa.
Charlie is a T-Rex laying eggs in the grass.
Jean Luc is a shark eating a fish in a secret hiding place.
Ana Sofia is a horse with a baby eating hay on the farm.
Thomas is a cat sleeping in a house.
Ryan is a silk worm hanging like a spider.
Jacob is a big horsey at the farm eating apples with raisins.
Sydney is a koala eating apples and bananas in a eucalyptus tree.
Ethan is a cheetah thundering after an antelope in the wild.
Anna is a happy baby unicorn stuck in a tree.
Jan is a monarch butterfly laying eggs on a man’s head!

After we finished, I rushed off to work.  Marcia decided to hang around because Pearl didn't want to miss recess, her "favorite subject."  Marcia said that as the kids played, they remained their animals, galloping and racing about.  As the excitement grew, some of the kids began declaring to the children in the other class: I am a poem, I am a poem, I am a poem!

Pearl at 4

Pearl had her four-year check-up yesterday.  She's in the 100+ percentile for height. Dr. Alex says she's healthy and will be at least 5'9" as an adult.  The four booster shots did not go over very well, of course, but afterwards she seemed to feel more grown up. Carrie offered to hold her hand, but Pearl said that she'd be okay.

It was an Ordinary Sunday Evening

Tonight during dinner at a neighborhood taqueria, I asked Carrie, "How's my girl?"  She bellowed as loud as she could:

I'M NOT BABA'S GIRL!

I'M NOT MAMA'S GIRL!

I'M NOT PEARL'S GIRL!

Are you Carrie's girl, I asked.

I'M NOT CARRIE'S GIRL!

Well, who are you then?, we all wanted to know.

With a mischievous grin, she said in a normal tone of voice:  I'm Caillou.

Diagnosis, anyone?  True confession: I'm a little bit scared to ask.

Unbearable Cuteness

This is an email I received from my father (a.k.a. Pop) yesterday.  Louis is our nephew, our kids' cousin, and is Pearl's age (4).

Yesterday afternoon Louis and I were in our bathroom here at our house.  Louis had me stand on our bathroom scale, and he leaned carefully over the dial so that he could see it.  He announced very solemnly, "Four o'clock."

Let's Kvetch!

yeah it's been one of those weeks had a migraine that lasted and lasted and bounced a check and the kids made above-average messes and made high-decibel demands and forgot to say please thank you etc marcia seems to be catching something snarky and we're having a party in the morning: your turn

An Epic a Day...

Can you tell that Pearl didn't want her story interrupted by my silly photographic mission?

Stories are Pearl's thing, and she loves them more than anything, except perhaps milk.  Or M & Ms. 

I wrote down the titles of two of her masterpieces from yesterday; one was "The No-Way Tree" and the other was "The Picturey Day."

Wish you were here.

Let's Check in with Carrie

There's been a lot of blogging about Pearl lately.  Now that she's healthy again, let's check in with Carrie.

Carrie is truly 2.  She has the force of a whirling dervish and the judgment of an acorn.  She finds great humor in irony, for example, dumping a basket of dinosaurs onto the floor while gleefully singing, "Clean up! Clean up! Everybody everywhere!"  It's impossible to keep a straight face through many of her antics.When she doesn't get HER WAY, she's likely to make a scene.  It is difficult to predict what HER WAY will be from one day to the next.

Carrie is very affectionate, both in her actions and in her words.  At dinner tonight, she went around the table, pointing to each of us, announcing: I LOVE YOU!  But her love is not universal. She is very mistrustful of strangers.

Her favorite foods are pancakes, milk, granola, yogurt, grapes, and tangerines.  Her favorite videos are Little Einsteins and Calliou. She loves balloons.  Her favorite books are far too numerous to name.  She often points out her favorite character in a picture and announces, as though it's an epiphany: That's ME!

Eden is in the Eye of the Beholder

Sometimes Pearl hears things. Marcia and I have been planning for the summer.  We have conversations, and we think she's not paying attention.  For example, we've been thinking about keeping the girls home this summer.  Pearl is thrilled with this idea. We've also talked about removing the downstairs television and using that space for something more creative.  We didn't think she knew about this part of the plan, when she brought home the drawing below from preschool yesterday.

This is our home from an aerial point of view. The large rectangle is our house, and the small one on the right is Jay Jay's house. (Jay Jay is the dog we gave to another family over 2 years ago.) The house is filled with televisions.  They have antennae and smiles on their faces. Even Jay Jay and Riah have their own TVs.  The squiggles on the left are stairs.  Notice there are even 2 suns in the sky.  Paradise!

We 'R' Struggling

We've had a tough weekend.  Friday Carrie was improving from pneumonia, despite the fact that she never took a drop of the antibiotic, but she woke up Saturday morning with a stomach virus.  She's lethargic and not at all herself.  It has been a slow, sad weekend.  We did very little of what we had planned.  Carrie's situation is somewhat scary.  I keep checking to see if she's breathing.  We're worried about dehydration.  Back to the doctor tomorrow morning.

(photo by dopiaza via flickr)

20 Things You Can Do When Things Don't Go Your Way

This, according to Pearl...

1. get upset
2. stomp around
3. try to yell
4. get really intolerable
5. sing the ABC song
6. say really mean stuff
7. have a fight with hyenas (tell a story)
8. come up with lots of good ideas
9. turn off the lights in my room
10. distract myself by playing
11. do yoga
12. try to go to the zoo and visit a tiger or a lion
13. follow a tiger's footprints
14. play rock-n-roll music really loud
15. build a pretend frog robot
16. sneak around in spider webs
17. count the money from 2 to 80 in my piggy bank
18. catch stars
19. ride my bike
20. race

(dictation by Marcia)

(photo by ramberto via flickr)

Story Central

Caution: Storytellers at Work!

Some/thing Old

The squirrel bed was Nana's when she was a child.  Then it was Aunt Sharon's.  Now it belongs to Carrie.

In between the 35 years in storage and Carrie, the squirrel bed did a stint at Barney's Antique Hospital.  I never met Barney, but the fact that he wrote a 3 page email about this toddler bed gave me a mental picture.  If you see him on the Antique Roadshow, let me know.

Here are a few details about the squirrel bed from Marcia's family. Nana says that it was  purchased by her parents   at Harold's Furniture Store in Allentown, Pennsylvania.  Barney discovered that the bed is factory-made (ca. pre World War II), is comprised of mahogany veneer on a maple base.

Barney's philosophy of restoration is to maintain the furniture's historical integrity.  Another way of saying that is:  he doesn't really care how it looks as long as the story of the item's origin is apparent.  A case in point: the back of the headboard remains an eerie color that was apparently original.  This way antique junkies can get a little green thrill from the past.

Because Pearl's bed is white and we wanted them to share the room, we asked that the bed be painted white.  Barney did paint it white, but not until he shellacked the bed so that his restoration was safely sealed underneath.  The result is a white paint that looks chalky and temporary, like you could write your name on it with a quarter.  Can you tell I have mixed feelings about antiques?

Nana and Papa delivered the bed over the summer.  The next quandary was the mattress.  The size of bed is not a standard size, so we had to find someone to make a mattress for the squirrel bed.  I'm not sure how Marcia found this guy, but made-to-order mattresses are his specialty.  He told us that the mattress he made for Carrie was cut down from one he made for Brad Pitt in the movie he did that's set in New Orleans.  I'm not sure which film that is. 

The squirrel bed has a fragile enough structure that neither Marcia nor I will even sit on it. Sometimes I find myself thinking, how long should we keep it before buying a nice white IKEA bed that matches Pearl's.  But other times I remember that it's cool when you own things that have such a story to them.  Like the coffee table I wrote about last month, this bed has meaning beyond it's physical appearance.  Someday Carrie will enjoy hearing all about it.

Made by Honeymooners

This is our coffee table.  My parents gave it to us.  They made it together the first year they were married.  This story makes a table that I love even more wonderful. 

Marcia and I are fortunate that we both have parents who have weathered their storms and stayed married.  So many of our friends don't have that advantage.  It must make a big difference to have that relationship building skill modeled throughout childhood.

Quotable Pearl

Consider this fact from ancient history revealed by Pearl to me today.

"Some dinosaurs had guns in their teeth."

I thought you might want to know.

A Backwards Glance: Blogging 2007

Here's a meme that I did last year.  Recently I remembered that it was fun to assemble. This is a review of the past year; I've collected one post from each month of 2007.

January - Carrie is weaned.  Happiness, sadness, confusion, hormones, etc.

February - After spring break I muse over the nature of vacations, THEN and NOW.

March - Pearl and Carrie meet Barbie (TM).

April - We pull off our first family Seder. It targets the 3-and-under crowd.

May - Pearl and Carrie, their whims and fancies are revealed.

June - Here's why we love summer....

July - In Grrrlville, the dinosaurs take over.  Arrrrrrrg!

August - Carrie's first (and only) haircut.

September - Baba turns 45 without too much of a whimper.

October - Marcia and Robin take their first vacation away from the kids.  They only went 50 miles away, but we're asking you to reserve judgment.

November - A cowboy saves the day (at Whole Foods Market).

December - Pearl grooves with the women of NIA Moves.

Oh what a year it was.

The Cat Attack

We were worried about our cat Moriah before we left town for our vacation.  She's 19 and diabetic and has a touch of arthritis.  She had a kidney infection a month ago. Usually a pet sitter comes by and spends a half-hour with her each day we're away.  Usually we're gone five days or less. This trip was longer and we wanted to do what was best for our cat so we decided to board her. 

We have two vets.  I will call them the country vet and the city vet.  Truth be told, they're both right in the heart of the city.  These names describe the milleau of each.  The country vet is very close to our house.  They know us by name and well enough to ridicule us about our propensity to spoil pets.  The same people have worked there for years.  The place is never especially clean, and their methods are kind of old-fashioned. Often they ask you to hold the pet while they draw blood.  Their prices are quite reasonable.  The city vet is further away, clean as a people hospital, professional (meaning unfriendly), and expensive beyond belief.

We almost always go to the country vet, except when we are really worried, but as I said, we were really worried.  So we bit the bullet and sent Moriah to the city vet for the week we were in San Diego. Carrie and I picked her up Wednesday morning while Pearl was in school.  The bill was more than double what I expected. Moey was crying loudly.  They had put her on antibiotics because a molar fell out of her mouth. We brought her home.  She continued crying.  After we picked up Pearl, the three of us circled around Riah on the bed and groomed and talked with her for half an hour. She seemed comforted then.

The neighbor with kids Pearl and Carrie's age invited us for a playdate at 4 pm after naptime.  My parents were due to drive into town at 5.  I took the kids to play with our friends, and Marcia arrived at their house 15 minutes later.  I wanted to clean up the house for my parents so I asked her to take over. 

Back at home, I began organizing toys. I listened for Moriah's cry and didn't hear anything.  It was too quiet.  I ran upstairs and found her frozen in a back bend contortion, lying in her own vomit and feces.  Her eyes were popping out.  I wrapped her in a bath towel.  She was stiff and couldn't uncurl her body.  I drove to the country vet, singing twinkle twinkle to her amidst my tears.  I ran in with her, announcing the emergency.  When they checked her glucose level it was so low that it didn't even register on the meter, but within 10 minutes they had her stabilized and under a heater.  They let me visit with her and said I could pick her up first thing in the morning.

Each day she is stronger and less shaky.  She does not show any signs of obvious damage.  But why a diabetic coma after only 5 hours away from the city vet.  Curious minds want to know.

Dear Reader,

Miami Beach was great; the conference was so-so.  The incoming hurricane decided to go elsewhere, and we had perfect weather the entire time.  I love beaches and walked twice every day. I read a murder mystery at night.  Reading a murder mystery makes me feel like I'm on a vacation regardless of where I really am.  It even works in a doctor's waiting room.  Usually.

It seems like every time I leave the family behind there is some sort of disaster.  This time was no exception.  Pearl caught a corner of the coffee table with her eye socket and had to get a quick fix for it in the emergency room.  The babysitter, who was coming to allow Marcia to go to a concert that evening, instead enabled her a less desirable option, S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT at Ben Taub. By the time I got home on Monday, all was well again. 

It's been a long two-week stretch with no day off from work.  Carrie is finally healthy again.  We found out that the disease she had in October was pneumonia.  I'm glad we didn't know that fact, to tell you the truth.  We're keyed up enough as it is.

This letter sounds a little negative, but there have been many bright moments as well.  Now that it gets darker earlier, Pearl, Carrie, and I have started a ritual that we go out onto the porch and look for the moon and stars every night.  And today at the grocery, when my amaranth was leaking tiny pellets that rolled all over the store, a white-bearded stranger came up and rebagged the grain.  When I thanked him, he bowed his head and tipped his cowboy hat at me. 

Love, Baba

A Return to Routine - Ah!

I'm back from gorgeous Florida and back at work. I must tell you that I am happy to be home.  Tonight I'll do a real post, but for now: Happy Election Day.  Also, a reminder: today is the final day of The L Word reader survey.  You can get all your voting done in one fell swoop,

We Are Fortunate

in that we never have to feel guilty about wasting our hard-earned money paying for the professional school pictures.  Once again this year we will: pass!

Love Me Like a Rock

Carrie seemed well enough to go to nursery school Wednesday and Thursday, but on Friday she came down with strep throat.  She's had a tough week, health-wise. She's on antibiotics, among other things. 

Right now Marcia and Pearl are rocking with Mary Cutrofello at the festival downtown.  Carrie is taking a nap.  I'll see how she feels when she wakes up and plan accordingly.

Marcia and I are taking off for a little retreat next week.  It will be our first time away from the girls ever.  Nana and Papa are flying down to make this possible; they will be grandparenting like troopers.

There's a huge house going up across the street from us.  The sounds of electric saws and Mexican radio keep making me think that Carrie is waking up.  She's such a sweet little patient.  Even with her chills and tears, she said thank you to every person in the doctor's office at least twice.

Storied

In Pearl's story today the characters are:
Blossom = Carrie
ShooFly = Marcia
Z = Pearl