the OTHER mother

Eden is in the Eye of the Beholder

Sometimes Pearl hears things. Marcia and I have been planning for the summer.  We have conversations, and we think she's not paying attention.  For example, we've been thinking about keeping the girls home this summer.  Pearl is thrilled with this idea. We've also talked about removing the downstairs television and using that space for something more creative.  We didn't think she knew about this part of the plan, when she brought home the drawing below from preschool yesterday.

This is our home from an aerial point of view. The large rectangle is our house, and the small one on the right is Jay Jay's house. (Jay Jay is the dog we gave to another family over 2 years ago.) The house is filled with televisions.  They have antennae and smiles on their faces. Even Jay Jay and Riah have their own TVs.  The squiggles on the left are stairs.  Notice there are even 2 suns in the sky.  Paradise!

Results from The L Word Survey

The survey results are in.  Thanks for participating.  Most of the 115 participants (96%) have watched either some or most of the episodes of The L Word. The reasons people watch the show are (1) to see other lesbians on television and (2) the sex scenes.  Here are the breakdowns for the questions about the characters.

Which character on The L Word is most attractive to you?

1. Shane (39%)
2. Alice (15%)
3. Bette (14%)
4. Helena (8%)
5. Marina (7%)

Which character on The L Word is most like you?

1. Alice (35%)
2. Tina (20%)
3. None of them (11%)
4. Bette (10%)
5. Shane (8%)

Your thoughts are (as always) welcome!

Any Educated Guesses?

The L Word survey has officially closed now.  Thanks to everyone who participated in the poll.  I will post the results tomorrow.  In the meantime, if you'd like to predict the results, please feel free. 

AfterEllen's Alter Ego (That's Me)

Yes, I want to write about The L Word, only I am even more woefully behind than ever.  AfterEllen is the first blog to cover these TV spectacles, and I am the very last.  Just finished Season 3 this week so bear with me.

Just to remind you where Season 3 ends, Dana has died, Shane has left Carmen alone at the altar, post-menopausal Kit is pregnant, and Helena has been cut off from her wealthy family.  Some rough stuff, right?

With characters in, characters out, have your impressions changed?   Who's irritating?  Who's sexy? Who would be your friend? What do you think about Max and the trans narrative? Were you surprised that Shane flew the coop?

Here are a few randoms from yours truly.  Alice is the ultimate lesbian friend. She's funny, smart, loyal, gossipy, and cute.  For some reason, I never had a clear sense of Carmen.  She doesn't stand out for me. On the DVD bonus footage, a bunch of women said Carmen was there favorite character, so I thought that was interesting.  As you may recall, Jenny has always annoyed me.  She doesn't seem like a writer, and her character doesn't ring true for me. Max is interesting to me, in his lostness.  I found the scenes between Dylan and Helena very hot. I'm letting my authority issues hang out in saying this, but Helena is sexy as was Marina in Season 1.  Maybe I'm just a sucker for foreign accents?

So tell me your thoughts! And don't worry about spoiling Season 4 for me.  I can take it.

Master Builder

Hi Friends,

Apparently I overdid it (it being LIFE) again, because I'm home sick with a raging sinus infection today.  It's a some sort of relief to just take it easy even though I'm feeling pretty lousy. I watched an episode of Six Feet Under (Season 3) and made myself a yucky green smoothie.  The yuckier the healthier?  My despair runneth over?  Or it that phlegm?

Perhaps these stay-at-home days are my body telling me to take and rest and let it relax and rebuild. I am notorious for not listening to my body, but bodies have a way of winning out. Always.

Your blogger,

Robin/Baba

Another Question

Are there any kid television shows or videos that you actually (or perhaps secretly) enjoy watching?

True confession time.  I have to admit that I get a kick out of Peep and the Big Wide World.  I think the first time we met Peep, Chirp, and Quack, I had ordered it from Netflix.  I got home from work one day and Pearl was excited.  It sounded crazy.  She was altering her voice, pretending to be Quack.  I'd never heard her try that before. 

What does this Quack look like?, I asked. He's just a round little fellow, Pearl replied.  This turn out to be quite precise.  He's an oval (the blue character) with a single line for his bill.

I do find a lot to like about the show.  The science lessons are not so fun, but Quack is. Quack is often petty, smug, and arrogant.  Underneath that, though, he's a pretty good guy, lovable, actually. I like the episode where he creates a museum for the fish so they can find out about life outside their pond.  The stories are wacko in a good way.  Joan Cusack does the voice over for the show.  Plus they have Taj Mahal playing banjo music as the theme song. Does it get any better?

The Carrie Papers

We were asked to write up a brief profile for Carrie's nursery school so that her teacher would know a little more about her.  Here goes.

Carrie (16 months old) likes to climb, dance, laugh, and tease.  She can say a few words, such as: no, uh-oh, whoah, Mama, and graham cracker.  She can sign a few signs: more, help, and book.  She can find her belly button most of the time. 

Carrie likes playing with stuffed animals and a cabbage patch doll.  She kisses them and cares for them. Like Linus in the Peanuts comic, she is strongly attached to her blue blanket.  Her favorite characters on television are the Teletubbies and Elmo. 

The daily routines are reassuring to Carrie.  She loves that she knows what comes next throughout the day.  When it's bath time, she runs to the tub and waits with glee!  Her favorite toys are a rocking horse, a game called Cariboo, and an ipod (with speakers, of course).  She's the family DJ. She has a few friends her age--Lila, Cosmo, and Eric--whom she seems very fond of. When they come to visit, she gets very upset when they have to go back to their own homes. 

Best Ever Television

According to After Ellen, this has been the Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever.

The website editors offer up plenty of recommendations for your viewing pleasure.  I'm not a big television watcher, but I must admit that I was pleased to read this good news: from today until October 13th, Yahoo TV will stream episodes of The L Word for free. 

After Ellen

Of the 679 leading or supporting characters on TV shows this fall, there is only one lesbian.  Here's an excerpt from the news story I read--

Of all the television series regulars on the networks' 2006-07 prime-time schedules, there are only the returning three gay characters as well as six on new shows - all in supporting roles, according to a study, "Where We Are on TV," being released today by the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD).

GLAAD analyzed the 95 new and returning comedies and dramas announced for the new season by CBS, ABC, FOX, NBC, The CW and MyNetworkTV.  Of the 679 lead or supporting characters on those shows, there are eight gay male characters and one lesbian. There are another five semi-regular gay or lesbian characters but no bisexual or transgendered characters on any of the shows.

The 95 shows exclude "reality" shows and cable network shows.  Click here to read the entire story.

TV or NOT TV, That is the Question

I read (not watched) something about national turn off your television week.  The question of television for babies and toddlers is an interesting issue, one that I've thought about a lot, and now seemed a perfect time to get your ideas on the topic.

Many of our parenting friends take the anti-television point-of-view, and while I can see the sense in their reasoning, I tend to feel positive about the role of TV in Pearl's life thus far.  I think Marcia feels less positive about television.  Interestingly (at least to me), she watches TV and I don't.  Hmmmmm.

1,  Our approach has been to introduce tv almost exclusively through video.  Pearl's age group (she's 25 months old) learns through repetition, and the best way to achieve that is by showing videos.

2,  We limit the amount of TV to 1 hour a day.  Some days she doesn't watch anything on the television.

3,  We try to choose age-appropriate material that reinforces the things we're already working on with her. 

4.  We watch the show with her the first time so that we can help her make connections between the content of the stories and the events of our own world. 

5.  We've tried to model for Pearl creative ways to integrate books, TV shows, stuffed animals, etc. into her play.  Last week we played doctor's office.  The doctor was our pediatrician, Doctor Alex, and the patients were Pearl, Carrie, Curious George (he eats a puzzle piece in one book), and Wags the Dog (from the Wiggles).  Each patient came into the examination room, one at a time, and was treated.  (My favorite one was that Wags Dog ate something unusual that gave him a tummy ache.  It turned out to be CAT food!)

That's our strategy.  We started out with Baby Einstein and moved on to Sesame Street.  Usually at any given time she is especially interested in one show, but she moves on to something different every few weeks. 

Using this approach, I do think Pearl has gotten powerful reiteration in the areas of vocabulary, sentence building, and repetition-based learning, such as counting, ABC's, colors, for example. 

However, I must also agree that there are a number of the anti-TV arguments that are very compelling.  The commercialism of absolutely everything is truly disheartening.  The reality that bandaids cost $1 and bandaids with cartoon characters on them cost $2 and that your child may well throw a tantrum in the store in order to help you make the *right* decision.  We haven't had tantrums thus far, but I can understand why parents fear their children's response to the compelling power of the media imagery. 

Clearly we all know that the TV can not be a substitute for teacher, parent, or caretaker. Feel free to weigh in on this one.  Your turn.

Blue's Clues

Here's our puppy, Blue.  She only donned the hood for this photo op.  We went to two halloween parties Saturday night and enjoyed both of them.  If we can coax her back into the costume again tonight, we'll take her to a few friends' homes for trick-or-treating. 

Pearl still dreads going to preschool and cries on arrival.  We're all having separation anxiety issues.  She only attends twice a week.  Today is the beginning of her third week.  The teachers do call us to tell us when she stops crying, usually ten minutes after she gets there.  Still, it's hard to drop her off when she's so distraught. 

Just for a bit of geographical trivia, since I'm rambling across the map today.  Here in Houston it's still warm; we're running our air conditioners, watering our yards, and wearing shorts and bug spray.  Happy Halloween.

Open Sesame

I bought Ernie for 99 cents in an ebay auction.  Pearl watched as I opened the package.  She couldn't believe it when she saw him in the cardboard box.  It was as though a movie star--Jodie Foster, let's say--had walked into our living room.  She was flabbergasted.

Ernie is the *star* of Pearl's potty training book, Too Big For Diapers.  This book is requested frequently these days.  She likes to find the potty in the closet, set it up in the middle of the room, dismantle it completely, and stand in it, fully clothed, of course.  Or she stuffs Ernie into it and asks one of us to read the book out loud.  Nevertheless, we are optimistic about the process of toilet training.  Enthusiasm has to be one of the key elements, I would think.

Pearl at Sixteen (Months)

I thought I'd tried to take a step backwards and give you more of an overview today, rather than my usual reports from our dailiness.  Here are a few observations about our girl:

• Pearl is big for her age.  She's in the 97+ percentile for height, 85 percentile for weight. 
• She's into physical activities like climbing, spinning, and pushing things around the room, whether they have wheels or not.
• She's traded in Baby Einstein for Sesame Street.
• She can drink water out of a glass.
• She can say 25 or so words--no, dog, cat, mama, baba, home, up, hi, bye, more, pea, purple, bird, Bert (of Sesame Street), owl, cow, and so on.
• She understands over 300 words.  In other words, if you ask her which of three blocks is red, she can choose the right one.  She can identify lots of body parts, including the less obvious ones such as elbow, wrist, and cheek. 
• Her maniacal laugh makes other people laugh.
• People describe her as serious.
• She seems very curious about other people.
• A food she really loves = black beans, favorite color = purple.

Like many "older" parents, we think our child is beyond wonderful.  Please forgive us!

The L Files

I am amazed at how much consensus I see our group assessment of the characters in The L Word.  As some of you have realized, I am not even half-way through the first season, and most of you are halfway through the second.  That said, here are the results, high school yearbook style:

Ms. Hot in Herre = Marina, hands down

Most Likely to Succeed [between those sheets] = Shane

Most Likely to Succeed [on monster.com] = Bette

She of Limited Sex Appeal = Jenny

Most Neurotic/Entertaining = Dana

Most Likely to be our Friend = Alice

I will weigh in, sumo style, with those of you who point out that Jenny is not a writer by any stretch of the imagination.  As a writer myself, that portrayal is truly painful.  And the dinner with her teacher, absurd!  Maybe the screenwriters have confused literary writing with method acting?

I will admit that it was genuinely meaningful to me to see the whole sperm donor and insemination drama played out on television, however unrealistic it seemed.  Or, if L.A. is really like that, maybe we should consider a mass migration?

The L Word

In March I had a revelation. 

For the 12 months of Pearl's life, we didn't watch any TV with the exception of HISTORY, i.e. the presidential debates, the democratic convention, and the election results.  And you see how far that got us?

Then I realized that our TV is on wheels for a reason, and I rolled it to the opposite end of the house so it's now as far as possible from the nursery.  That decisive move, in combination with an e-click to rejoin NetFlix, and we are finally keeping up with the rest of the lesbian empire by watching (however belatedly) The L Word.

What does this soap opera and the democratic convention have in common?  Little-- except that there are few real lesbians on camera in either.  Nevertheless, I must admit that we have laughed and enjoyed the episodes we have seen so far. 

Which characters are your most and least favorite?  That will be my next post so spill your beans and stay tuned!

Maybe Now I *Get* Baby Einstein

We received several of the Baby Einstein videos as gifts before our daughter arrived.  I assumed from the brand name that they were educational in nature, and we were pleased to have them.

Although we're not big on television for ourselves, occasionally we rev up the VCR and let Pearl watch.  This little girl is completely mesmerized by television, and not just Baby Einstein.  She likes anything on TV, and sometimes when the set is off, she shakes it as if to wake it up. 

I'm not sure what I expected the first time I experienced the Baby E phenomenon, but I was definitely surprised.  The ones we have (Bach & Mozart) show toys, often in motion, against a plain background.  So picture this: 20 seconds of watching a top spin, 20 seconds of watching a candle burn,  20 seconds of a lava lamp gurgling, and so on. 

I may have gone to college forever, but I've never taken a psychology course in my life, so if you can explain the developmental aspect of these videos, please do.  I find them puzzling. 

The most perplexing part, though, is when Madame Baby Einstein (Julie Aigner-Clark is her real name) explains at the end of the tape that the series is meant to be INTERACTIVE.  As she enlightens us, we see a parent sitting beside a baby, and as the baby watches a puppet on the TV screen, the parent waves a puppet-covered hand at baby from the other side.  Who would do that?

But this week brought along an epiphany!  Consult the photo above and you will see Baby Pearl touching and tapping the screen, even kissing it on occasion.  She is INTERACTING with the Baby Einstein video.  I guess this is an example of how the younger generation is going to find the answers to our most burning questions.  She sure solved this mystery.