the OTHER mother

Backwards Glance

Looking back at mid-May of yesteryear, feel free to stroll down memory lane with us:

The Clean Team (May 2007)

Carrie's First Food (May 2006)

Way 2 Go Pearl (May 2005)

Why I Started Blogging (May 2004)

Top Parenting Blogs Ranked at ParentPower

Here's something new: the ParentPower Index. Forget about the Fortune 500.  This little gizmo ranks the top  200 parent blogs in cyberspace based on several different measures, such as number of subscribers, technorati rank, etc.  Right now The Other Mother is at #40.

Thank You, Dear Reader

• 

Thank you for reading this blog.  I appreciate your dedication and perseverance. You have endured more than I care to admit:

• the lessons of parenting strangely extracted from the American classics--Melville, Dickinson, etc. (I didn't always hide that PhD so well, did I?)
• my repetitive recounting of the plagues -- colic, insomnia, mastitis, television, diaper rash, second parent adoptions, sadness, loss, and more
• hundreds of examples of toddler art (thanks, Kayte, for your comments on them)
• my thoughts on The L Word a full year after the episodes originally aired
• a million pictures of people and plastic dinosaurs

You have indulged me in all sorts of projects and ideas.  I do appreciate it.

Thanks for sharing your experiences and wisdom in response to all my questions.  Thanks for your emails and comments. You have been a true community, and I am happy to engage in this dialogue daily.  I've truly enjoyed writing for this blog over four years.  So thanks for making this conversation interesting.  Thanks for being there.

Sincerely,
Your Humble Blogger

(poor quality picture in place of poor quality video- learning curve a little steep for me - vlog rain check issued)

The Appreciators

It's April 16th. Here are the bloggers expressing thanks on Reader Appreciation Day 2008.  If you posted something appreciative on your blog, but you're not on the list yet, let me know.

• Against the Grain
• Amy Sample Ward
• An Accident of Hope
• Ana Verse
• Average Jane
• The Bamboo Project (Michele Martin)
• Beth's Blog (Beth Kanter)
• Busy Tarp
• But I Digress
• City Mama
• A Couple of Crunchy Lesbians
• Creation Halt
• Crunchy Granola
• The Daily Grind of a Work @ Home Mom
• Elke's
• Evil Mommy
• Freitas Family Follies
• frogblog
• From Stage Dives to Station Wagons
• The Full Catastrophe
• This Full House
• Girl from the South
  
• Girl Ranting
• Have Fun * Do Good (Britt Bravo)
• Hahn at Home
• Her Bad Mother
• Home-Ec 101
• It's All About Balance
• Kellyology
• KnitTech
• Knuckle Down
• LesbianDad
• The Lesbian Lifestyle
• Light. Sweet. Crude.
• Long Relationships
• MariaChristina
• Marketing Roadmaps
• Mombian
• Mrs. Mogul
• MsAbcMom
• Narrating Kayoz
  
• News-Bitch.com (TM)
• Ninja Poodles!
• Nonprofit Communications
• Not Just a Working Mom
• The Package Insert of Sorrows
• Painting Chef
• Personal Political
  
• Pieces of Gray
• The Pieces of my Life
• Piecrust Promises
• Of the Princess & the Pea
• One of his Moms
• A Poem a Day
• Poets Who Blog
• The Quiet One
• Real World Mom
• SecondHand Tryptophan
• Socal Mom
• Spinning a Learning Web
• Shakadoo
• She Just Walks Around With It
• The Shores of my Dreams
• Spirituality Guide
• SprogBlog
• StidMama
• Tippy Toes and Tantrums
• The Thousand Insect Nation
• The Three R's: Reading 'Riting and Randomness
• Two Mommies and a Meatball
• Water Veiled
• Whistling Leaf Blower
• Whole Cloth Designs
• Who's The Boss?
• Wishbone Clover
• Words That Sing

A number of these bloggers are giving away prizes and free stuff today.  And of course, there are wonderful posts all over the place.  If you have posted an appreciation piece on your blog, please add your link in the comment field, and I will continue to update this list until everyone is included.  Thanks!

Reader Appreciation Day: April 16

I'm excited about all the enthusiasm about Blog Reader Appreciation Day.  I'm compiling a list of different kinds of posts and activities that bloggers have planned.  I'll update this list, as your suggestions continue.

1. The Madonna Option: Write a post thanking your readers for putting up with your foibles, mistakes, and eccentricities (a list) and being loyal to you (your blog) no matter what.
2. Write a tribute to your 5 most avid commenters
3. Share some of your favorite comments ever posted to your blog.
4. Giveaways and free prizes to loyal/lucky readers are always fun.
5. Thank your readers in any way you want.

Poem for Mommy

Over on the WITS blog, the poem of the day is a love poem from a child to her mom.

Appreciate your Readers

My thoughts on Blog Reader Appreciation Day are sharpening ever so slightly.  Since it's coming up soon--this Wednesday, April 16th, and only two days away, I will just share my thoughts and hope that you will kindly fill in the blanks.  I am thinking about

Madonna. You guessed it!

Do you remember a thank-you spot that Madonna did on MTV in the 90s? She listed some of her foibles and mistakes and shortcomings, saying, "You loved me when I wore ___.  You loved me when I was fat. You even loved me...."

I tried to find this clip on YouTube but the sketchiness of my memory was prohibitive.  If you can find it, please leave me the link.

So the idea for this post on Wednesday is to thank the readers for sticking with you even when you....

It would be fun to vlog it, but I may not be up for that myself! 

Let me know how this sounds to you.

***

Update: Thanks, Elsa, for finding this!  The part that I (mis)remembered is near the end of the clip.

Reader Appreciation Day

Tell me what you think of this idea, bloggers.  What if we  celebrate our wonderful blog readers with a special Reader Appreciation Day?  I'm still cogitating about how it will work, but maybe you could help me figure out the details. 

But we need a date.  How about next Wednesday, April 16.  The tax filing will be behind us, and we can pour on the love.

Blog Reader Appreciation Day 2008.  Who's in?

&&&

Update: Get or suggest how-to celebrate ideas here

Meet the Blogger: Dana Rudolph of Mombian

I decided I'd like to do a series of short interviews of some of the bloggers I admire most, and brave Dana Rudolph of Mombian stepped up, willing to be the first, as she often does.

Dana started Mombian nearly 3 years ago. She and her partner Helen have a four-year-old son and two cats. Her interests (besides her family) include history, fencing, taekwondo, rock climbing, and the Red Sox.

RR: Tell us a bit about your background.

DR:  I have over a decade of experience in the online industry, at both the startup and corporate levels. Most recently, I was a vice president at Merrill Lynch, developing marketing and business strategies for several key online initiatives. I was also the first leader of the firm's global LGBT employee network. Prior to the business world, I was on an academic track, doing graduate work towards a career as a medieval historian. (No, I didn't dress up as someone from the Middle Ages; I dressed in jeans and spent time in stuffy old libraries.) In some ways, however, blogging combines my previous disparate endeavors: I get to write and do research like an academic, while marketing and maintaining my Web site. 

RR: When you first started MOMBIAN what was your mission and how has it changed over time? What do you hope to deliver to your audience?

DR: From the start, I knew I didn't want to write a diary-type blog. There were already many good ones like that, and I didn't think my own family life was interesting enough to keep people coming back. (My writing background, a mix of marketing and academia, may also have influenced this choice. See next question.) I also noticed that most of the existing parenting sites didn't often include lesbians, and most of the lesbian sites didn't often include parents. I therefore decided to make Mombian a site for news and information of interest to lesbian moms and other LGBT parents.

I think that mission has pretty much stayed the same. I hope to deliver posts that are both informative and entertaining, that look at LGBT news and culture with a parent's eye, and at parenting topics with an LGBT eye. I cover everything from politics to entertainment—but I'm not trying to cover all politics, like, say, PageOneQ, or all entertainment, like After Ellen. I want to extract what's of interest to parents and try to make connections that others may have missed. Of course, since I'm the publisher, I sometimes break my own rules and post about something random that catches my attention, but I try to keep it to a minimum.

RR: How does blogging compared to other types of writing you've done in the past?

DR: The closest predecessor to my blogging was a weekly update I used to compile at Merrill Lynch, summarizing news in online financial services. It went out by e-mail to over 150 executives at the firm, and was similar in style to the Weekly Political Roundup I do on Mombian.

Some of the marketing material I used to write has helped me in promoting my site, but not in creating the actual posts. Likewise, my academic work gave me a foundation for some of my longer pieces that require research, but they are not a perfect analogy. Blog posts have to be shorter and punchier, more like newspaper articles than research papers.

RR: What has been the high point of blogging for you, so far?

DR: The constant high point is the number of friendly and interesting people I've met—bloggers, commenters, and others who have reached out to connect in some way. I'm also proud of the growing success of Blogging for LGBT Families Day, which had over 150 participants last June. The diversity of people and experiences always amazes me. (It will be held again this year on June 2.)

RR: What's the strangest thing that's happened to you since you became a parent?

DR: Becoming a parent was pretty strange in itself. I'm one of those for whom the parenting urge came late; I wasn't against it when I was younger, but it wasn't a burning priority for me as it is for some people.

It's also been very strange being the stay-at-home mom. Both my partner Helen and I have done stints as the SAHM. She gave birth to our son (using my egg and donor sperm), and started out at home, but some changes at the company I worked for led us both to throw our resumes into the ring. She got the better offer, and so we switched roles. We'll probably stick it out this way now until our son is older; going back and forth too much probably wouldn't be good for him. It wasn't something I was expecting, though, even when we started on the road to parenthood. Not that I'm complaining; as I tell Helen, my boss is a lot cuter than hers.

Ye Olde Six Word Memoir

My crazy pal Hahn has sent another wild, sly meme my way: summarize your entire life in six words. Well, perhaps this is cheating but I refer you back to the six word memoir we (trend setters that we are) did back in December 2006 as part of our holiday newsletter.  It went (and I quote):

Dear World—almost is close enough.

That was when we were feeling overwhelmed.  Of course, we still feel that way so why revise it?

For those of you who wish to play this game, the rules are below. But I would like to specifically tag the following very lucky people:

1. Harlyn of Are You My Mothers?
2. Chuck at Dripping Pitch and Made of Wood
3. Liza of Liza Was Here
4. Cowgirl from Knuckle Down
5. Cake at Whistling Leaf Blower

The Six Word Memoir rules are:

1. Write your own six word memoir.
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post.
4. Tag five more blogs with links.
5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

[photo by ruby dust via flickr]

One, Two, Three, Four

 
Milestones on my radar screen today:

1) The Other Mother was chosen as one of the Top 50 Adoption Blogs by A Child Chosen.
 

2) As usual, I have missed the blogiversary of The Other Mother.  Here's a link to the very first post in early March 2004.

Happy 4th birthday, little blog.

(photo one, two, three, four uploaded to flickr by Oℓivia)

Do You Like Distractions?

I'm behind in my blogging -- I admit it.  I do have some dishes "cooking" for The Other Mother, but perhaps in the meantime you would enjoy distracting yourself with one of my other blogs?

Try out Big Window or A Poem a Day.  You might like them.

(photo by finntasia via flickr)

Some/thing: The Recap

Thanks to everyone, readers and writers alike, for participating in my first blog carnival, Some/thing. The response was much greater than I'd expected, and I enjoyed reading everybody's posts stemming from the simple prompt: something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.  First I'll recommend 2 moving posts on Freedom to Marry Week that came out of this project--one by Beren DeMotier, the other by Polly a.k.a. LesbianDad.

In the description of the project I requested surprises and got them!  Here are a few of the posts from last week, organized by topic.
 

Some/thing Old

• Meditations on hand-me-down cribs and bassinets, antique chairs, post WWII architecture, sepia-toned family photos, and a walk in an old neighborhood in Brooklyn.

Some/thing New

• Bloggers hark the heralds over gluten-free living, a beige box, some fab kid clothes, and a trip to the Tacoma Glass Museum.

Some/thing Borrowed

• This one was perhaps the trickiest one.  Writers delved into borrowed items such as books, a sweatshirt, a vial of sperm, and of course the most obvious choice, monster trucks.

Some/thing Blue

• Bloggers posted some gorgeous photographs of blue on Friday.  Check out this one, this one, and this one too.  And don't miss the cutest "toddler got the blues" story ever.

As a bonus, carnival goers receive two recipes, one for basil shrimp and another for cherry biscotti.

For a complete list of the participants, click here. 

Some/thing - The Players

Here are some of the bloggers involved in Some/thing:

• An Accident of Hope
• The Amazing Adventures of CarMan
  
• Ana Verse
  
• Ask a Lesbian
  
• Bloogs Blowing By
• CityMama
• Confessions of a Stay at Homo
  
• A Couple of Crunchy Lesbians
• Doodaddy
  
• Fancypants McGee
  
• FrogBlog
• Hahn at Home
• Just Powers
  
• Kellybean
• LesbianDad
• Liza Was Here
  
• Loaded Dice
  
• Mombian
• Nhamo in Paradise
  
• One of His Moms
• Peter's Cross Station
• RAZ-ma-taz
  
• Shrike & Whozat
• SprogBlog
• Stidmama
• Tea 'N' Crackers
• That Lesbian Mom Next Door
• Twins & a Toddler
  
• Two Bee's Hive
• Up Popped a Fox
  
• What If No One's Watching?
• Whistling Leaf Blower
• A Whole Lot of Very Little
• Year 4 in Monterrey, Mexico
  

If you are playing along, please add your blog address as a comment, and I will add you to the list directly.

She Was Really Saying Something

These February days can really lull me.  Have you felt it too? Here's my idea to beat the blogging blahs this week. I mentioned last week that I wanted to throw a blog party, carnival, or harmonic convergence.  Here's the idea.  It's easy and quick.  If everyone does it, it might be a lot of fun.

I'm not big on weddings.  Never had one, except for this little bit of blogging.  For the rest of the week, if you're game, follow this theme:

Tuesday 2/12    Something old

Wednesday 2/13   Something new

Thursday   2/14   Something borrowed

Friday    2!4    Something blue

You can post a photo, memory, poem, music, or a combination.  Try to surprise us.  And once you're done, if you leave a link in the comment section here, everyone will be able to check out what you've done.  Feel free to link to here, using the "Something" badge.  If you're not a blogger, you can still participate by leaving a comment. 

Is it tomorrow yet?

Bop, bop, doobie doo waaaaaah.

Blogging in Earnest

I'm not at all sure what I meant in the previous post when I promised that I'd soon be "blogging in earnest."  It sounds like something a blogger could do, but what?

The New York conference and trip went well.  I came home with slinkies (TM) for the girls.  They are over their flu and back at preschool today.  Marcia is excited about turning 40 next week.  Life is good.

However...

I've been experiencing the winter blogging blahs lately and want to DO SOMETHING.  I've noticed so many great new blogs linking to mine, and maybe it's because I've been out of town, but I'm even behind in reading my old favorites.  (In blog years, 3 is considered old.)  I thought it might be fun to throw a blog party or carnival that would bring us all together, perhaps under the colorful umbrella of a topic or question.  I'll keep thinking.  Let me know if you think you might like to play.

Blog of the Year

It's that time again.  You can nominate/vote for the best lesbian blog of 2007 at TLL today.  (It's an unusual process in that there is no distinction between nominating and voting.)  The voting will continue up until February 15th.

5 Blogs That Always Make Me Laugh

1. Weebles Wobble
2. Random Outlaw
3. Hahn at Home   
4. Are you My Mothers?
5. CityMama

Feel free to list your funny favorites in the comment section below.

Results of the Reader Survey

Thanks to everyone who responded to my informal Reader Survey last week.  I really appreciate your help. All of the responses were extremely positive and encouraging.  I appreciate your vote of confidence.  Here are a few suggestions that I gleaned from the response.  Let me know if these sound right to you.

• Write more about the problems and hard times.
• Write more about the process of parenting.
• Write more about Marcia and me.
• Consider changing the blue background color (on either side of the sidebars).

How do these ideas sound to you? 

It's BlogDay, or so I'm Told!

According to my sources, today, August 31, is officially BlogDay.  The purpose is help us move beyond the blogs we already know and love and find a few new ones.  Anyone can play.  If you don't have a blog, feel free to list your fab five as comments below.  Here are the official rules:

1. Find 5 new Blogs that you find interesting
2. Notify the 5 bloggers that you are recommending them as part of BlogDay 2007
3. Write a short description of the Blogs and place a link to the recommended Blogs
4. Post the BlogDay Post (on August 31st) and
5. Add the BlogDay tag

So without further adieu, here are five blogs that I've discovered recently:

Post Punk Kitchen

I just started reading Isa Chandra Moskowitz's Veganism with a Vengeance this week. Who knew veganism could be so hip, so now, so fun?  PPK is her website.

The Bamboo Project

Michele Martin offers up ideas and conversation about the issues that nonprofit leaders like myself think about a lot.  Topics include technology, professional development, and marketing.  She manages to keep it very human, very real.

Hahn at Home

Lori cracks me up. Somehow I felt that she and I were friends the first time I read her blog.

LesbianDad

Okay I'm cheating.  This blog is not new to me at all, but I am continually so impressed, interested, and inspired by what Polly has to say, that I snuck it into my list.  Rules are for breaking, right?

ZenHabits

For me, this blog is analogous to magazines you might read in the doctor's waiting room or on the exercise bike, but I find it reassuring.  True Confession!

That's my five.  Choosing them was harder than I expected!

Over at Big Window, I'm going to try to choose 5 favorite photoblogs, if you're interested.  Happy Labor Day weekend!

Reader Survey: What You REALLY Think

Dear Reader, I'm trying to do some DIY improvements around here.  I wonder if you would be willing to provide some feedback about my blog, The Other Mother.  If you don't mind, I'd be interested in learning:

• What do you like best about this blog? (photos, stories about family, stories about LGTB issues, rants, ideas, inspiration, information, links, etc.)
• If you were going to eliminate something from the blog, what would it be?
• Ideally, how do you hope to feel after visiting the site?
• What suggestions would you make to help me improve The Other Mother?

Feel free to leave comments or send your thoughts via email. Thanks in advance, Robin/Baba

The Other Mother Makes the Top 10!

Kathy Belge of About.com's Lesbian Life column recently chose the 10 best lesbian blogs.  Along side Dana from Mombian and Polly from LesbianDad, along side celebs such as Rosie and Kate, what do you know?  The Other Mother made the grade.  Woo hoo!  Check out the whole list here.