In our childbirth class (thanks, Lu!), we learned that immediately after birth a baby will make eye contact with her parents. Later I read this in all the books and literature. But the naked truth of this statement is beyond anything I imagined, prior to Pearl's birth.
Last night, and really most of yesterday, came at Pearl as sensory overload. She cried for hours. No strategy we came up with calmed her down for very long. For years I've heard friends talk about driving their infant around aimlessly in the car to get the baby to fall asleep. I must confess I secretly harbored doubts about the necessity of such tactics. But last night we were desperate, and there we were, driving to see the new restaurants opening on 19th Street, dropping off thank you notes at the Post Office in the dark night. Extremely non-essential errands, shall I say. For the first time ever, Pearl did NOT fall asleep in the car!
Later, back at the ranch, we did quiet her down somehow. Or more likely, she tired of crying and decided to do another activity. She enjoyed supper #3. I sent Marcia to bed and rocked Pearl to sleep. The second I laid her in that crib she was wide awake again. I put the pacifier in her mouth (an accomplishment in itself) and looked into her eyes. She looked into mine. And we just looked at each other like that for 20, maybe even 30 minutes. Finally she began to blink and then she slept.
What is it in babies that they can hold that gaze for so much time? Or perhaps the true question here, why do we as adults look at each other only for fleeting moments? What risk is involved? Just what do we have to lose?
Your entries are beautiful and inspiring! I am so thrilled to share in your discoveries of motherhood. Thank you for always amazing me!!!
Love, Your admiring sister and proud aunt of Pearl
Posted by: Rachel | 04 April 2004 at 06:54 PM
Wow! This is amazingly honest. It's funny, now that my children are offical school agers out there in the world dealing with social dynamics, I am constantly telling them to "look em in the eyes," as a statement of confidence and secretly strength.
Posted by: Kenya | 20 April 2004 at 10:53 PM
dreaming surely takes its place beside reality as the lynch-pin (sp??) of life .. . . all REAL, all UNREAL. How can PEARL BE--forever and always (in my understanding of life and after-life . . . That birth of a smile means she is "here" at last and knows it and likes it, even if she wasn't sure for awhile, don't you think? Thanks for capturing another "birth" moment!!!
Posted by: Nana | 02 May 2004 at 05:43 PM