What Stays and What Goes

I started blogging nine months ago.  Like so many things, it has turned out to be different from what I originally expected. I thought I would be writing primarily for my family, and yet I have inadvertently discovered a new group of friends that includes moms, activists, and other mensches. Here is a question that is primarily for the bloggers but as usual, anyone is welcome to play. 

What topics do you write about on your blog and where do you "draw the line" in terms of your subject matter? 

Most recently the thing that brought this to my mind was a comment by Ange.  She was saying that one thing she enjoys about my blog is that it is very upbeat.  It was interesting to think about that because in our family we have been having some serious issues lately concerning our dog/baby relationship.  I've been extremely concerned about it, but I haven't mentioned it once.  But Ange is right.  In my blog I tend to present what's positive and funny.  Maybe I am a cheerleader for lesbian parenting?

Although theoretically a blog could be a place for all things, in truth it rarely is that.  We land on some idea of mission the blog will serve, partly based on our personal needs, partly based on the response of the audience. I would be interested in discussing how your blog serves you and others and how that has changed over time.   

Comments

[Robin]

PS = for those of you who scrutinize the background of these photos for insight into the glories of our humble abode, this picture was taken at my parents house! Love, Robin

[Robyn]

well....i WISH some days that my blog was NOT for my family and friends primarily. cuz i'd have LOVED to have posted about my nutty mom and our thanksgiving adventures. but i learned my lesson about a year ago. my mom READS my blog. so, i try to keep it about Harris. not about my relationship with Cindy. not about the dust gathering in my head. hell..i really OUGHT to start another blog. but who has time...

[Nickie]

I think that you are a cheerleader for moms in general, not just the lesbian ones. I've given the link to your blog to a friend of mine, a bisexual woman who has a new baby and could use a glimpse into the happy stuff.

That being said I will move onto your general questions about blogs. I have several, actually. This one, the one I link in my info here, is the most honest and most personal because very few people from what I am slowly beginning to refer to as "My Life Before" know about it. I will draw the line at few things (and those things are for my private, paper-and-pen journal.)

I write in my blog mostly to get things out and as an exercise in writing, but I also write in the hope that someone else will read and be able to tell me that I'm not alone out here as I start to figure things out and try to make something useful out of the mess of my life.

[Chloe]

Hi Robin...

I will get back to your post on my blog I promise... with all my picture experiences... which with a move has been limited... but anyway!

I write about what the little one is doing... and really that is about it... I sort of started it that way... and though other things could be added... we don't exactly have the most exciting life... but a little journal each week with what is going on with the Lillibug is good. Keeps it fresh...

But I love hearing all issues... and if there is an issue with your dog and daughter.. please share... anything that lets it out is good... someone is bound to have an idea or an eye to sympathize!

[Elaine]

When I created marilynandelaine.com, I figured Marilyn and I would each have a space as well as Ava. But then a friend showed me her new blog and I was fascinated with it. I knew then that I wanted to write one for Ava and document our experiences with her. Since I didn't think I would have anything interesting to write about most of the time, I decided to write it from Ava's perspective and that has turned out to be quite fun! I also LOVE taking pictures and this blog allows me to have an outlet for the hundreds of pictures I take. Actually nowadays, Marilyn usually writes the blogs and I post them for her and add my pictures and that seems to be working out quite well. In terms of subject manner, we don't discuss anything too serious since it is from the baby's perspective. A friend of mine actually pointed something out to me that I found quite interesting...she told me that there were no pictures of Ava crying or looking miserable. I agreed with her...all pictures are usually of Ava with a big smile on her face. And while Ava is quite the happy baby, she does have her not-so-happy days every now and then, but interestingly enough, I have chosen not to take pictures of her at those times. I wonder why? Am I only documenting what she is really like only 70-90% of the time? What about that other 20-30%?

[Sara]

good question - I've just been thinking about that lately. My own blog is scattered at best re. topics - (note to self - must set up that category feature) - and I'm sure it lends to a bit of a disjoint experience for readers. But I definitely "edit" what I'll post - probably based on some sense of who my audience is. I don't think I only post about upbeat happy things - but I certainly try to find the humor in not so fun things re parenting. Good question!

(and ha HA - while composing this - I just caught your comment on my blog - nice to meet you!)

[shannon]

This is a great question. I think about it all of the time.

I didn't really know what to expect when I started blogging but I found myself surprised when I discovered people reading what I wrote. Having instant feedback from an audience has definitely shaped what I write. It isn't "cheerlaeding" but I do regard it as a record, an educational forum, a witness to what our lives are like, because I seem to have a lot of straight allies reading--or anyway, commenting.

As for material and self-editing, I find the blog a good place to practice one of my most valued principals: living a transparent life and maintaining integrity and consistency. I don't say anything on the blog I wouldn't want everyone from my best friend to my worst enemy to hear. I try not to go off half-cocked, for example, and even when it might seem that I have, I have probably put quite a bit of thought into the post in reality.

I also try not to tell the stories of others--even when I think the stories are charming and positive--because everyone feels differently about having their lives made public. I am always surprised when bloggers complain about getting "found out" by people in real life that they don't want reading their blog. It's SUCH a public forum--the ultimate public forum in many ways--it seems really naive to me that anyone would think it's a good place to gossip. So when I do write about other people, I make sure I'd be okay with those people reading what I wrote. This means there are stories very critical to my life and ideas that just don't get told; stories of former relationships, even a former experience of parenting and loss, for example.

It keeps me honest, because I'm constatnly evaluating my words. Words can take off from the page (or the screen) and develop a life of their own. It's a lesson every writer learns at some point and this is a pretty instant way to learn it.

[ange]

-holy cow!- I was so surprised to read my name in your blog! I am glad my comment got you thinking about the things you write and the way you articulate your thoughts. May you find a happy medium.
I still haven't found mine yet.
My blog began a year and a half ago as letters to my Mom... in a feeble attempt to bridge a major communication gap. However, after less than 3 months I decided to change my domain name and gain some annonymity for myself so I could post more personal things. Which never happened.. because my family eventually googled my blog. God only knows who else has found it.. my stats show alot of folks in my state are reading every day! And I have no idea if they're my neighbors, fellow classmates, my ex, etc. It's a shame to allow paranoia to stiffle a creative outlet such as a blog.

[lisa]

I am somewhat new here. So I don't have a full grasp on the 'cheerleading'.
As for what I write, its all over the place. One thing I never do is talk poorly of anyone. The only negative things I may rant about our societal. I also try to keep my readers in mind, by keeping my entries short (well not always) and hopefully making someone laugh or smile (generally).
(I also love to brag about my kids)

[Jo]

Dude! Thank you so much for the nomination! I'm flattered. And blushing.

[Moriah's bony friend]

Hi, Rob!

Well, I ultimately decided to take my blog offline because when I changed jobs, I realized that I could get myself into a major amount of trouble quite easily. I didn't want to write something so watered down or off-topic that I resented spending the time writing it in the first place.

So instead I have a notebook that I call "The Unexpurgated [former blog name]." But it's different from a journal, because it still assumes a public audience rather than a private one. It's notes, I suppose, for potential future projects.

Long-lost Amy, who now, at last, has Internet access at home, and sends you greetings from balmy Hermosillo, and who has adopted a little kitten from the backyard, who is something like Moriah in personality but is a lot fartier.

[alice, uptown]

One of the things I like about blogging is that, as a former editor, I know libel laws fairly well, and how to get around them. If I mention a friend, or an ex-, for example, I will give them nicknames that they may recognize if they read the blog, but I doubt they do. I'm also fortunate in having a computer-illiterate mother, so there is no chance of her even knowing my URL. When I talk about events in the news, I consider that fair game -- it's out of my hands and a matter of public record. Since I don't yet know how to do links -- help, anyone? -- within my page, I keep names out of the scandal du jour that has caught my fancy.