"Sometimes they are naughty..."

Scene 1: 

When Pearl was born, our friend Patsy Cooper gave her a number of picture books.  Pearl loves all of these books, but lately one that intrigues her is a simple story called Babies by Gyo Fujikawa.  Patsy is an expert in early childhood education, and she wrote us a letter explaining how these stories would figure into Pearl's development in her first few years.  None of these books struck me as particularly profound, but I have the utmost respect for our friend Patsy, and Pearl seemed to like the books, so I decided to wait and see.

Scene 2:

This week I am starting to see something curious at meal times.  It all started when she began feeding pieces of her dinner to the dog.  We encouraged her to eat the food in her plate and let Jake eat his own food in his dog bowl.  This directive spawned a host of creative responses that capture the true spirit of the toddler sensibility.  For instance,

• She continued feeding her food to the dog.  (Testing, testing!)
• She made a modification and began feeding imaginary food to the dog.

Our response: We put the dog outside.

• Next she fed food to an imaginary dog. 
• Then she began hurling food chunks on the floor and laughing at the tops of her little lungs.

To use the diction of Fujikawa's book, I think this would be called "naughty" behavior.  Pearl knows "without a shadow of a doubt" that she is not supposed the throw food on the floor.  And yet she does throw the food.  Gleefully.

Background:

The book Babies outlines some of the things babies do--eat, sleep, etc.  It tells what babies like and dislike.  Then it explains that soon they will be able to do things all by themselves.  Next--the clincher--we're told that sometimes they are "naughty" and sometimes they are "little angels."  Each of these concepts is illustrated with various pictorial examples.  Then the ending: but good or bad, all babies want to be loved. 

Analysis:

As I said, I wouldn't have chosen this book on my own.  I have a Ph.D. in literature, and the "good or bad" oversimplification grates on my nerves.  But I do notice that Pearl is fascinated by the good page and the bad page, especially the bad page!  She studies each illustration carefully.  I think that she is learning something.  I'm not sure what!

Scene 3:

Sunday night.  Scene escalates, as per scene 2.  I warn a time or two, then remove the plate, unstrap her from the high chair, and place her on the floor.  I clear the plates, and before I realize what's happening, I catch her eating the food from the floor.  The floor is dirty!  I am mortified!  What have I done!

Conclusion:

And so we are all initiated into a new era of being parents and child, the first of many events that we will negotiate together, I have a feeling....

Comments

[Shannon]

I do believe it is the age. My 14 month old loves to feed the dogs and if they aren't in the house will start hurtling the food at whoever is at the table with him, normally it is aimed at me.

[kat]

Ah, the beginning of testing limits...fun! Maybe? ;)

[ppb]

I'm thinking perhaps a future animal rights activist, veterinarian, doctor doolittle, teenager that makes her mothers go grey?

[Rachel]

Oooh, aren't toddlers *fun*? They really put the F-U in fun some days, don't they!

Floor food is fine, most likely. No worries. You did the right thing!

[susoz]

Your friend's book about stories looks very interesting, I'll have to see if I can get it here.
I've never seen the Babies book. Does it actually use the good/bad words, or naughty/angels? Like you, I'd be hesitant about good/bad, but I don't mind using 'naughty' from time to time. Everyone, baby or grown up, has naughty impulses that need to be let out from time to time.
Eating off a dirty floor is probably great for her immune system!

[Robin]

Just to clarify, the book "Babies" does use those words--good, bad, and so on. The phrase "Sometimes they are naughty..." is a quote from the book too.

[Mieke]

I had the same reaction that Susoz had.

We try really hard not to use the words good an bad and we NEVER describe a child as that. Their behavior might be annoying, too loud, hurtful, mean, or they may not "be listening" but we never describe the child as mean. Does the book specify good and bad children?

This may be too California PC for you, but it's the way it is out here. No naughty children just naughty actions (I never use the word naughty either). I try to always talk about what I want them to do, not what I don't want them to do -especially at this stage of their language development. Like with Pearl and the dog. "You aren't listening to Mommy. Please keep your food on the table. Keep your food on the table or Mommy is going to take the food." Something like that. I'm big on consequences. This will happen if you do this.

[anniem]

Aidan always idolizes examples of naughty kid behavior in shows and books. In Dora, he _loves_ Swiper. He takes things from his siter for hours afterward begging her to yell, "Swiper, no swiping!" Most book or show plots have kids learning their lesson after doing something wrong, but it's just advertising for Aidan to learn something new he can try! He doesn't seem to pick up on good and bad as I see it, he just sees exciting. It's like toddler-sexy.

[Elizabeth]

I don't know how they got to be called the 'terrible twos' because the 'terrible' starts way before two. It's more like the 'terrible just after one and just before three'.

[Leah]

Rachel you are awesome!!! I love that!!!
Nick started to REALLY fling his food today. I don't know what to do...I told him not to do that a few times-even prevented his hand from flinging a piece of mac n' cheese onto the wall-and he gave me this look...I can only describe his eyes as having an evil glem in them ;) I have no good advice for the food fling...If you find something that works...let ME know!

[Barbara]

My son used to sit in his high chair and throw his raisins to the dog then belly laugh hysterically. The dog, being a terrier would be encouraged by the laughter and would do things to make my then 1 year old laugh even harder. I let him do it because it was just so funny to watch.

[tina]

age 12: "...and sometimes they are buttholes." I was very careful when Jesse was little to speak in positive language and to avoid the "bad" v "good" classifications--except with regard to behavior. We have a very close, funny, and sometimes *very* un-PC relationship now--in which we can both say to each other, "You are being a butthole." Don't worry, I'm saving for his therapy.