Order in the Court

On Carrie's adoption day, we woke up early, got dressed, and drove to San Antonio. It's a 3 hour drive from Houston, but when traveling with a breast-feeding infant and a newly potty-trained toddler, you must plan for the unexpected, so we gave ourselves 4 hours and arrived at the Bexar County Courthouse right on time.

Several of you asked why we had to go to San Antonio to do this. Wouldn't the same state laws apply in both Texas cities?  You would think so, and so would I.  But apparently none of the family court judges in Harris County will approve lesbian family adoptions.  Our attorneys specialize in gay and lesbian law, and they make this trek to San Antonio at least once a month.  It is expensive.  It is time-consuming.  It is unnecessary (in my humble opinion).  But at least it is done!

Back to the courthouse.  We got there at 11 a.m., but for some reason, our judge postponed our hearing until the afternoon.  Suddenly we had 2.5 hours to kill in a building as child-friendly as a nail factory. They were doing construction inside the building, and the work areas were cordoned off with translucent blue plastic.  We'd parked 2 blocks away and didn't know the city very well.  We headed straight for the snack bar.

This snack bar was the pits.  The same elderly gent was manning the griddle and the cash register.  The food was pitiful, but Pearl thought it was fun.  Other families from our group had taken refuge there too, and Pearl kept asking if we could go visit with "our friends."

That day our lawyers had four families in court, all lesbian families adopting first children.  Similar to the day we adopted Pearl, they had brought the whole clan with them.  For Pearl's adoption, we had ten relatives cheering.  The other families that day were adopting second children, and they had ZERO.  This time around, we were the ZERO bunch, but we had made that decision ourselves.  It seemed easier to us when we made the plans.  The day prior to the hearing, though, I must admit that I did feel some regret over the decision.

Pearl was the star of the show.  Of the 4 families, all the kids were infants except for her, so everyone wanted to have a chat.  She made up songs for the babies, "The itsy bitsy baby..." did all sorts of silly things. She showed everyone her choo-choo train.  We found out it was one person's birthday, and Pearl sang to her also.  I don't think Pearl had a sense of the legal process, but I think it was pleasant  experience for her.

By the time we got into the courtroom, it was 2 p.m. The judge was in a hurry.  We weren't supposed to be on her docket.  She had us all take an oath in unison to care for these children.  I DO, we replied.  She explained the "no return" policy for these kids, even as teenagers, and we were done.  Two darling girls, both legally and equally ours, we got back into the Subaru and drove home.

Comments

[Wendy P]

What a lovely and informational post! I particularly like the pictures you posted in your "Mission Accomplished" entry. My partner will be adopting our child after the baby's birth. Your photo gave me a wonderful visual to hold in my mind.

[Dana]

Many many congratulations! I'm glad everything went smoothly.

[Suzanne]

It's good to dot the i's and cross those t's. Congratulations to your delightful family. :)

[mikhela]

congratulations - that sounds gorgeous. I'm filled with envy - in Australia, a child can't legally have two parents of the same. sex

[LilySea]

huzzah!

[Spyderkl]

What a terrific story! Like you said, it's a shame you had to go so far to finalize your adoption, but at least it's done. Congratulations!

[Terris]

Congatulations. Such a geautiful story, wondeful photos.

[Nana]

Yeaaaahhhhh! Cheers! I wish we'd been there to help Pearl celebrate. We DO know what it means (having "legally" reared one of Pearl and Carrie's mommas and two others)--and we are so thankful and thrilled with your beautiful family--long "legal" in our sight and God's! Love you! Nana

[Robyn]

congrats!

once again i am reminded of how lucky we are living in Austin because we have a judge who will do our adoptions. just hope she doesn't retire!

[alice, uptown]

Congratulations -- and what a wonderful story, child-friendly as a nail factory or not. The no-returns policy made me laugh: as a toddler, I was quite convinced my brother was as returnable to Lenox Hill as my dresses were to Saks. I'm so happy for all of you.

[Sareesa]

So, are there residency requirements to adopt in San Antonio? Can't do it here in Oklahoma, but would LOVE to once our little Kai is here (only 10 weeks now!). Wish we could afford to move somewhere long enough to establish residency, adopt, and come back. Wouldn't mind moving permanently, but grandparents (and cousins and aunts/uncles) are nearby. Love checking in on your family every once in awhile!