the OTHER mother

Carrie Turns 5

You may recall that it was Carrie who planned my birthday party this year so you might assume that her own birthday would receive even greater enthusiasm. And you'd be right!

Carrie's party theme was... interesting. As in, very. Have you ever been to a Chinese horse party? This five-year-old loves horses, and she's learning Chinese (or at least she thinks she is). So in addition to the trusty steed pictured below, she had the bakers draw a picture of a horse with the Chinese symbol for horse beside it. We gave chopsticks, Chinese candy, and fortune cookies for party favors. Carrie help choose everything for the great occasion. 

There are many more photos of the Chinese lanterns, petting zoo, and birthday cake on Marcia's facebook page. 

 

The Princess Within

They say that every young girl imagines themselves a princess, but I never did. Just to verify this assertion, I double-checked in with my mom. She confirms it. This Baba skipped the princess phase with no regrets.

Of course They say a lot of things, but I suppose that most of them are true.

 

Here's the story of my recent birthday. I walked into the house at 5:30 pm on a Wednesday afternoon. Pearl and Marcia were doing the usual things, and Carrie was *hiding* behind a chair. She jumped out, yelling in her loudest voice: SURPRISE!

Carrie (let's call her Party Planner Junior) had worked out everything--decorations, food, and activities. Baba's favorite color might be blue, but at this birthday party, all was pink, pink, pink. Everyone got a pink princess cap except for me--as the honoree, I got to wear the tiara.

We ate drank, ate, opened presents, and other jolly activities. Then the two younger princesses performed a special birthday dance for the elders. Carrie seemed to be air-bending while Pearl's moves resembled break-dancing.

And while the royal children "did their thing" so did the royal kittens. Napping in the laundry, naturally.

 

For this *princess*, parenting has taught me one thing: never say never. Celebrate.

Pearl Turns Six

Yes, SIX! Can you believe it?

 

This year the theme of her birthday party was dragons. We had a gigantic red dragon pinata with yellow spikes and orange wings. Almost her entire Kindergarten class came to celebrate. It's making me feel totally nostalgic, this birthday, so I though I'd share with you a few sweet memories from the days of yore.

Birth of Pearl (2004) with special recipe for smothered okra

Pearl's 3rd Birthday (2007)

Pearl's 5th Birthday (2009)

Kindergarten has been a great year for Pearl, so far. She loves it all!

Aw, Shucks

Friday has been Carrie's favorite day for quite a while now. Last year at her old school she had show and tell on Friday, as did Jacob and Pearl, her favorite classmates. This year she goes to a school that only has classes Monday-Thursday. On Fridays Pearl goes to school, I go to work, and Carrie stays home with Marcia. So this year Friday is her super-favorite day! Marcia says this year she likes Fridays a lot too. 

Carrie is an awesome helper, especially in the kitchen. She loves to cook and set the table. She feeds the pets. Last Friday she shucked corn for the whole family, and we had a lovely Shabbat dinner.

Huzzah Huzzah for Hubby Hubby

In support of Freedom to Marry, Ben & Jerry's is changing the name of their ice cream flavor Chubby Hubby to Hubby Hubby for the month of September. The citizens of Grrrlville commend this clever strategy of combining activism and ice cream. Thanks, Ben! Thanks, Jerry!

Tie-Dyed Pancakes

Carrie likes to cook. These pancakes have rainbows in the batter. It's her secret recipe. They turn out so pretty that she won't even spread raspberry jam on them because it would ruin everything!

Vacationing with Pre-Schoolers

Here are our ten best tips for traveling with young children. We don't always do this stuff, but we try:

1) Get free lodging. This takes a network and a lot of luck or love, but so far we have managed to do it on every vacation. This is the first step.

2) Book tickets early, and try to get either low prices or frequent flier tickets.

3) Set modest expectations about what you will see or do. We usually have one planned activity each day.

4) Choose destinations where you know families with kids the same ages as yours. 

5) Try to take advantage of free museum days. We know our kids have only a limited attention span for most museums, and it is a lot less troubling if the admission is free.

6) Someone WILL get sick or have an accident. You will get lost. And it's okay!

7) Stick to the routines of home, as much as possible. We usually try to stay in the same spot the whole trip and take little day trips, rather than moving the gang from place to place.

8) Review high points of each day after dinner or at bedtime. Hearing the children's thoughts can help you plan the subsequent days of the trip. You can model this ritual for your kids to help them learn how it works.

9) Let each kid choose a souvenir of the trip to take home, preferably one that takes of a small amount of space in your luggage.

10) Spending money is not what makes the vacation fun. Your time together--playing, talking, laughing, connecting--these will make your travels memorable.

Please share your travel tips with us. Pretty please?

What's New with Carrie

 

Carrie is 3 1/4 years old, and here's what she's into these days:

Favorite drink = green juice

Favorite food = vanilla yogurt

Favorite vegetable = pumpkin loaf

Favorite song = little bunny foo foo

Favorite object = blue blankie
Favorite book = buster by denise fleming
Favorite animal = puppy
Career aspiration = super hero

Variations on a Theme: Green Smoothies

A previous post on green smoothies generated quite a bit of interest. We have continued to whip them up in our vitamix blender, but it's easy--at least for us--to get into food ruts.  So when I found this list of variations on the green smoothie theme on a list serve, I did a quick cut-and-paste.

* 2-3 cups any greens of your choice, 2 cups papaya, 2 oranges, 3
dates

* 1 handful lettuce leaves, 1 handful mint, 4 bananas, 1/2 cup
water

* Winter Smoothie - 1 cup organic frozen berries (any kind), 2 cups
fresh spinach, 1/4 inch fresh ginger, water

* 1/2 bunch romaine lettuce, 1 cup strawberries, 2 frozen bananas, water

* 4-5 kale leaves, 4 apples, 1/2 lemon juiced, water

* 2 big handfuls mixed baby greens, 2 pears, 2 mangoes, 1 cup fresh
or frozen blueberries

* Choc-mint - 2 cups spinach, 10-12 mint leaves, 3 bananas, 2 Tbs.
carob or cocoa powder, 1 cup water

* 1 handful of spinach, 2 stalks of celery, 2 bananas, 2 pears, 1
apple, 1 cup water

* 1 small handful of spinach, 2 cups arugula, 2-3 mangoes, 1 cup
water

* 1/2 head romaine lettuce, 1 small pineapple, 1 large mango,
1-inch fresh ginger

* 1 handful wild greens (e.g. dandelion), 1 small handful mint
leaves, 3 cups honeydew melon

* 3-4 stalks celery, 2 ripe persimmons, 1 banana

* 1 handful chard leaves, 5-6 kale leaves, 3 large bananas, 1 cup
water

* 1 handful parsley, 3 cups of peeled papaya

Please feel free to add your own ideas as well!

Imagine 350 Praying Mantis Babies Checking Out Your House

I mentioned my hope of planting a tiny autumn garden a few weeks back. Between daily rainstorms and Marcia's very demanding freelance project, I haven't had lots of time or acceptable weather. But today I bribed the homebodies (Pearl and Carrie) with animal crackers and collected the necessary stuff at the neighborhood nursery. The girls decided that plant stores were more fun than they expected. They liked the garden sculptures shaped like puppies and blueish purple flowers. Carrie enjoyed pulling the red radio flier wagon and adding her own inspired choices to the shopping cart.

As we paid the cashier, he gave them each a praying mantis egg sac. He explained that when they hatch as many as 350 babies will emerge from each one. He gave them to us because they'd been there too long and were ready to pop.

We planted cucumbers and zucchini in one big pot, and basil, rosemary and thyme in the rectangular one. I'm still hoping to score some lettuces for the other big pot and a tomato to plant at my office which has a super sunny backyard.

You might recalled that Nana is a super helpful person. When she saw the praying mantis eggs in the cardboard carrier, she assumed that we'd forgotten them and brought them inside. After everyone was asleep I found them on the kitchen counter and felt very alarmed. I kept imagining the little green walking sticks everywhere--the toy airport, the coffee pot, the shoes and sandals, floors and ceilings. The imagination can be too much.  I moved them to the porch that night and onto a tree the next morning.

So far (2.5 days later) the plants are doing well. I'm not sure about the insects but will continue to monitor their progress.

Baba, an urban gardener

10 Things I've Been Meaning to Tell You

In no particular order...

1) Nana flew home Saturday after two weeks with us.  We have been campaigning to get Nana and Papa to move to Htown. No such luck, so far. Your strategy suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

2) We planted herbs, beans, and marigolds in pots on our back porch.

3) My friend Faith died three weeks ago, while battling cancer, chemo, etc. for the second time.  It seems unreal.  Death seems unreal, doesn't it?

4) I submitted a chapbook manuscript to a poetry contest. Although the poems are not new, I'd never combined them in a sequence together. I don't remember ever submitting a chapbook for publication before either.

5) Carrie is making major progress, both in her speech and in her potty training.  Hurray for Carrie!

6) I want a puppy.  Pearl wants a puppy.  But keeping in mind what happened with Jake, I think we're going to wait until Carrie is a little older.

7) Marcia and I got to hear the author of Persepolis, Marjane Satrapi speak. She is brave and funny and smart, a wonderful storyteller.

8) I may become addicted to lettuce wraps this summer.

9) Marcia knows a whole lot about ice cream trucks.

10) Let me know if you want to play Scrabulous on Facebook.  I'm very addicted to it.

But (more than) enough about me...what's new with you?

Green Smoothie for Two?

The girls really dig these green smoothies, assuming they're chocolate. Ingredients usually include: frozen banana, dried medjool dates, soy milk, cocoa powder, vanilla extract, flax seeds, frozen berries, ice water, and a half a bag of frozen spinach. 

We whir it all together with a Vitamix. I'm not sure whether a regular blender could deal with all the frozen fruit. 

If you can wrap your mind around the bright grass green color, the smoothie really is yummy.

Bento Boxes

Marcia bought laptop lunch kits for the girls.  They're adorable, and I like the bento concept, although I must confess I had a total Ricky Ricardo moment when I found out how much they cost. Ay yai yai!

Bird Rock Coffee

Good morning from San Diego, CA.  Mmmmmmm.

Carrie is Hungry

I've been combing through my archives tonight and found a little clip of Carrie eating lunch.  She was 13 months old.  (Now she's 2!)  It was made with one of those disposable camcorders, and the quality is poor, but I still thought it might amuse you.  Find it in the side bar on the right or click on the icon below.

Virginia Xmas 1206

Houston Cool 5

Another truly marvelous thing about Houston is that we have great Vietnamese restaurants. That might surprise you, but Houston has one of the largest Vietnamese communities in the United States. 

My favorites restaurants are Van Loc and Kim Son, and they serve up authentic dishes. For a funky twist on Vietnamese cooking, Jenny's Noodle House is always fun.

Click here to review the previous Houston Cool posts.

It's the Weekend

Marcia's 9 month teaching gig (Saturdays only) ended last week, and this is our first two-day weekend together in quite a while.  To celebrate that and the months we have managed to be vegans, Marcia signed us up for massages. 

This was my first bodywork of any kind in four or five years, and it was trippy for me.  I imagined that the two "babies" from my miscarriages came out of my body for an hour.  They were beautiful, colorful butterflies of light, dancing in the air.  I say "butterflies" only to suggest their way of moving; they were bodiless, rainbowy blips. Then they peaceably returned to me as the massage ended.  It felt very positive and comforting.

The vegan lifestyle still feels extremely new.  We don't have a repertoire of favorite foods.  Once we understand that, it will make a big difference.  I must say, though, that I don't dream of steaks or anything.  Giving up animal products wasn't hard at all.

Have a great Sunday.

Ode to the Avocado

One of Carrie's favorite foods is a favorite of her Papa's also--mashed avocado on toast. Carrie also loves fruit smoothies for two.  She and her Mommy share one smoothie with two straws.

My Next Post

Here a new bullet list of what's going on with us.

• Carrie has adjusted quickly to nursery school.  She doesn't cry when she's dropped off.  She seems to have assumed a leadership role of sorts.  For example, she refuses to paint with her fingers.  A brush is a must.  All her classmates have followed suit. 
• She likes to play peekaboo with her blue blankie.  She likes to be turned upside down, but only temporarily.  She tickles herself, tosses back her head, and laughs.
• Carrie likes to climb up the foot of her parents bed and use the remote control to turn on the television.  Carrie is a television addict.  She will watch absolutely anything, even static.
• She enjoys doing things that she knows are forbidden.  Throwing food onto the floor, drinking soapy bathtub water, stealing Mommy or Baba's glasses from their faces--these are the true pleasures of life.

• Pearl can identify most of the letters of the alphabet, and she is learning to write her name. 
• Her love of stories and storytelling continues to grow stronger. She dumps out all of her cars/trains/dinosaurs/farm animals, and uses them to create elaborate tales.
• Her favorite new book this month is The Different Dragon.
• Pearl loves climbing and running and playing in the park.  Today she and her friend Miles were pretending to be brother and sister.  She told me, "We even fell down together!"

• This month Marcia and I have embarked on vegetarianism.  So far, it's going well. Our guidebook is Eat to Live by Joel Fuhrman.
• I'm growing herbs in clay pots on our back steps.
• Marcia has been doing video editing with her students.  Here's one example.
• Marcia and I have an anniversary coming up, and we're brainstorming about how we want to celebrate it. 

Your turn.  What's up with you?

Adventures with Chopsticks

Tonight I picked up Chinese food on the way home from work. We've been reading Dim Sum for Everyone by Grace Lin, a book suggested to us by our friend Tae.  Pearl and Carrie decided to give the chopsticks a try.  They ate and laughed and laughed some more.  It was a fun meal.

This weekend Marcia worked both Saturday and Sunday. Pearl, Carrie, and Baba did many outdoor activities.  We played in parks, went to a farmer's market, took walks, and played in the sprinkler in the backyard.  It's cool that the girls can play

together more now.  They really crack each other
up.  Of course they also already make each other furious, but much of the time they seem to be allies.

 

Eat a Meal with Pearl

Scene: Round table in the breakfast room. 

Characters: Robin and Marcia (the moms) and Pearl (the 19-month old child)

Action:

R: Pearl, do you like these [pointing at the centerpiece, pot of chrysanthemums}?

P: Purple flowahs

M: Here's a cup of water for you.

P: Nuke!  Nuke!

M: You had a bottle of milk already.  What would you like for your breakfast?

P: boggle and keem chee

R: I'm toasting the bagel.  It's almost ready.  Instead of cream cheese, how about jam?

P: jam

P: and sha sha jizz

R: Okay, I'll put the sausages in the microwave.  While you're waiting, would you like some fruit?

P: fruit!

M: How about strawberries?

[No comment necessary here because all fruits are equally wonderful.]

R: Breakfast is served.

[As soon as food arrives, Pearl begins eating.  She's a very serious eater.  Robin brings the bagel and the sausage, both diced into tiny bits.  As soon as sausages appear, she forgets all the other foods and eats them first.]

M: More, peas.

R: More what?

P: Sha sha jizz!

Aunt Pearl's Squash Casserole with Running Commentary from Gram

I really love this email from my mother to all her kids and their partners, so I thought I would share it with you.  For those of you who have followed this blog from the start, you may recall that Pearl was named after my great aunt Pearl, a fiesty, tiny cajun lady who loved to cook and wear bright colors and have a good time.  We included one of her okra recipes in Pearl's birth announcement back in March 2004.  Below, Aunt Pearl's words are in bold, and the rest is the commentary from my mom.

Since Robin and Marcia are interested in Aunt Pearl's recipes, I made this squash casserole with many changes this past Friday.  Karen and David Davis seemed to like it, as did I, so I am going to pass it on to you. The original is in Aunt Pearl's handwriting but the paper is stained from use and is yellowing so I will keep a copy too.

BAKED SQUASH: (No amounts are specified - so I wing it).

1. "Peel squash and take seeds out and let it cook in a little water until
very well done stiring all the time so it won't brown or you can boil the
squash with peal on and after they are cool you can peel them and take
seed out". 

I boil the squash in a big deep skillet so that I can later saute the
vegetables in the same pot and not have to clean so many utensils. I
NEVER peel the squash NOR do I take the seeds out.  (That was in the days
when she had a cook and she delegated all such chores to her assistant.)  I
scrap off any blemishes on the surface of the peeling, cut the squash in
pieces, put in salted water, boil until tender (usually turns a deeper
yellow or light green), then drain the squash in a colander. I leave the
squash in the collander until I am ready to mix into the sauteed veggies.

2. "Chop an onion, about 2 stalks of celery, 1/2 bell pepper, and a clove
of garlic." 

Since Dad does not like bell pepper I skip it.  I am more generous with
the onion, celery, garlic. Sometimes I have even put fresh tomatoes in it.
Put all or as little as you want.  I spray the deep skillet or pot with pam, then add canola oil or some fat into the pan, throw in the veggies and cook slowly. I never stand an stir all the time - all of her recipes call for that -- again slave labor economy.

3. "If you are going to use ground meat, fry your chopped seasoning first
then when that is golden brown add your ground meat or your chopped liver
& gizards or you can use  half & half then add that to your onion mixture
and let it fry until you think it is done then add your mashed squash".

I do not add ground meat or any meats but it is an option.

4."Put your squash back into the sauteed veggies, heat up, stir and mash
up the squash in the veggies, then break a raw egg into the pan and stir
constantly for 2 minutes until the egg is mixed in and cooked."

I do follow this and stir the two minutes.  Actually, when Aunt Pearl made
this it was more like a custard as her squash was softer than mine since I
have peeling and seeds in it.  Hers was delicious.

5. "Add a tablesppon of fine bread crumbs season to taste with a lump of
butter or olio a tablespoon or more (to taste) and a dash of Lea & Perrin".

You can add salt, pepper, and more of any of the above that you want
including Hot Sauce.  True Cajun.

6. "Put in a greased cassrole, sprinkle with bread crumbs and dot with
butter and bake until brown"

I bake in a 350 degree oven. The more butter you use, the better.  Of
course Olio will do too.  Bon appetite!!! 

Bon Apetite

In our extended family, Pearl's cousin Max has earned the honorary title of Mr. Eat-It.  He can shovel in food.  Leftovers, anyone?  Max can help you out.

Pearl is a hearty eater too.  Our pediatrician keeps telling us that Pearl will hit a moment in her development in which she will become disinterested in food.  We're certainly not there yet.  She is a champion of digestion.  This morning she saw a photograph of a ripe tomato, and she promptly kissed it passionately and said, Mmmmmmmmmm. 

She digs in to all the food groups with gusto.  I hereby name her--until further notice--the honorary title, Baby Eat-It.  Bon apetite!

In Need of a Plan - Please Advise

We are supposed to be making the transition from breastfeeding to so-called solid foods. So far, we've fed Pearl assorted gruels--rice cereal, oatmeal, and a few of the phase 1 vegetables, such as yams, squash, and peas.

At first she thought eating was fun. Now she seems less interested. Or I should say she is less interested in eating the food, more interested in painting herself and others with it. Our dog Jake is the member of our family most enthusiastic about Pearl's future as a food artist.

We've been feeding her every evening. At the six month check (which went very well, by the way), our pediatrician Dr. Alex said she should now be eating three meals a day. Herein lies the problem. We have no plan! We read that you introduce new foods for 3-5 days to make sure she's not allergic to each one. We've done that. No allergies, thus far. But 3 meals a day is serious business!

First thing this morning I got a newsletter from the Gerber company. I was reading along thinking, "This is very helpful," but then reality struck. These days the sales pitch is disguised as helpful information. When you find yourself fooled by the advertisement, you have to consult the pros. So here are my questions for you.

1) Do you make homemade baby food or use the bottled kind? Please explain.

2) Do you use organic foods?

3) How should we proceed in the introduction of new foods?

On the consumer front, the good news is that last week I purchased a new blender and a big bib that's made of 100% raincoat.

The Daily Show

Really there's still more to say about our vacation, but those posts will have to wait until the weekend. For now, there's meatloaf to label and refrigerate. There's baby spit-up on the floors and colorful toys everywhere. And I mean everywhere. The laundry spins around and around inside the washing machine. The cat needs her insulin shot; the dog, his ear drops. I say: turn on the TV; it's time for a snack.

Epicurious

This week Pearl has expanded her repertoire. She has left behind her a life of just drink and has started eating solid food. Solid food is a technical term that is applied very loosely in this instance. Whoever categorized the rice cereal she's eating as a solid needs an eye exam. The stuff is grool. But Baby Pearl is making a big adventure of her foray into the wide world of food & drink.

How much of the sticky paste actually makes it into her stomach? We estimate: very little. But it's a fun game, and goodness knows she's not starving to death.

One thing we are noticing in Pearl is that she seems to have a Texas-sized independence streak in her. She doesn't want to be fed by her moms. When we try to assist, she grabs the spoon and tries to take over. Her dexterity is not perfect, nor is her aim true. Nevertheless she is determined to take control. Same thing has happened with the old sippy cup. She's a do-it-yourselfer in the making.

Breakfast in Bed

When a baby arrives, everything has to shift. Jake the dog and Moriah the cat must be thinking, we were here first. Which is true. However we are now finding new ways to work things out. Everyone wants to be involved, naturally. Pearl is cast as the leading lady, and Marcia gets best supporting. The roles shift, but everyone has a part in the play.

She Is

Pearl Chamberlain Reagler entered this world at 6:06 a.m. on March 9th, 2004, the Year of the Monkey.  She was born under a full moon on a spring day when azaleas and redbud trees were pink and blooming.  She is a healthy baby with dark brown hair and assessing eyes.  Pearl flaps her arms like the wings of an ambitious little bird. We adore her.

We named her after my Great Aunt Pearl, a wonderful eccentric from New Iberia, Louisiana, who wore colorful ribbons in her hair and cooked Cajun food with gusto.  When we were children, she spoiled us with gifts and baked biscuits shaped like gingerbread men and animals. 

Smothered Okra, Cajun Style
A Recipe from Great Aunt Pearl

Wash fresh okra. Cut both ends off & throw away. Slice okra. Put in skillet that has been greased with vegetable oil. Sauté okra, stirring frequently.  Season with pepper. Chop some onion, garlic, celery. After okra is cooked until almost no slime, add other vegetables. Be sure to have enough onion, garlic, and pepper in it. Sauté all together until done—30 to 45 minutes.  If you want to, after you add the onion mixture, add 8 oz. of tomato sauce or canned tomatoes.  Stir all together and cook for an hour on low fire. Le bon temps roulé.

I cannot believe that I have a daughter.  Every time she coos or cries, I am surprised and reminded, here she is.