Copies of my chapbook "Dear Red Airplane" arrived in today's mail. The book is published by Seven Kitchens Press. I say the chapbook is out--which is true--however it is already sold out. Seven Kitchens is a micro-press, and they specialize in publishing artful booklets in very small print runs. All the copies sold during the pre-order phase. If you'd like to encourage the editors to do a reprint, you can contact them here.
Lesbian
22 July 2011
18 June 2011
Father's Day and the Two-Mom Family
Pearl and Carrie are going to writing camp this summer, and Carrie's class did a Father's Day project. Since she doesn't have a dad, this could be tricky or awkward, but she is fortunate to have two wonderful teachers. They know that there are all kinds of families and that Carrie has two moms, also known as Mama and Baba. And so the teachers invited Carrie--all the kids, really--to write about a guy, whether it's a dad, grandparent, cousin, or family friend.
In the past Carrie (age 5) has always chosen to make cards for Pop and Papa, her grandfathers, but this year the lucky winner is... Uncle Russell. Since the girls were infants, Russell has been vying for favorite uncle status. He would whisper in their little ears:
Who's your favorite uncle?
Uncle Russell!
Uncle Russell!
Pearl, Carrie, and Russell have their very own WWF wrestling program, which Carrie mentions in her poem. They have special fighting monikers. It's always Pearl and Carrie versus Russell the Muscle. It's pretend wrestling, of course. Unfortunately, the line about Uncle Russell living in Costa Rica is pretend too (if only!). Carrie's poem and portrait appear below. Happy Father's Day, Russell. We love you!
20 October 2010
Pearl's Groove
Pearl is in first grade this year. She's doing well in school and can read chapter books on her own. She likes Junie B. Jones, the A-to-Z mysteries, the Magic Treehouse series, and any true story about animals. Pearl joined a soccer team at the Y this year. Her team is improving, but they still haven't scored a point. She's pretty good though. I've been impressed with her athleticism.
Pearl's very favorite activity is still acting out stories that she makes up. Home is for acts, as far as she's concerned. Her favorite tv show is Avatar: The Last Airbender, and her favorite character is Aang whose job, although he's just a child, is to save the world. She wants to be Aang for Halloween.
In her acts, she combines characters from Avatar with characters from other stories that she and Carrie like--Scooby Doo, The Lion King, and the Hunchback of Notre Dame--with characters from their original stories--a baby named Baby, dog brothers Alex and Johnny, and Pearl and Carrie are always characters in the stories too.
Pearl still loves to draw. Her drawings are like comic books, often done in the format of sequenced squares. She loves to make them funny by placing the characters in unlikely places--kings in cages, cats hanging upside-down from trees. She still loves animals. They love her too. As do we, Mama and Baba, so very very much!
27 September 2010
The Princess Within
They say that every young girl imagines themselves a princess, but I never did. Just to verify this assertion, I double-checked in with my mom. She confirms it. This Baba skipped the princess phase with no regrets.
Of course They say a lot of things, but I suppose that most of them are true.
Here's the story of my recent birthday. I walked into the house at 5:30 pm on a Wednesday afternoon. Pearl and Marcia were doing the usual things, and Carrie was *hiding* behind a chair. She jumped out, yelling in her loudest voice: SURPRISE!
Carrie (let's call her Party Planner Junior) had worked out everything--decorations, food, and activities. Baba's favorite color might be blue, but at this birthday party, all was pink, pink, pink. Everyone got a pink princess cap except for me--as the honoree, I got to wear the tiara.
We ate drank, ate, opened presents, and other jolly activities. Then the two younger princesses performed a special birthday dance for the elders. Carrie seemed to be air-bending while Pearl's moves resembled break-dancing.
And while the royal children "did their thing" so did the royal kittens. Napping in the laundry, naturally.
For this *princess*, parenting has taught me one thing: never say never. Celebrate.
13 September 2010
21 July 2010
This Is Me, Bald
I'm sure that Carrie (age 4) is not the only one out there who wonders, on occasion, "What would Baba look like if she were bald?" Motivated by generosity, no doubt, Carrie has provided us with this artistic rendering that answers the (above) question. Grrrls with crazy hair find this picture particularly hilarious, by the way. So now you know.
This is a picture of me when I was six, which is Pearl's age now. For some reason, it seems to me the photograph of a writer. In retrospect, of course.
15 January 2010
¡Feliz Año Nuevo!
Yes, pals, it's time to ring in a new year. Happy 2010! Click here to check out the Holiday Sound Poem 2009. [time = 1:23] Remember it's audio, not video, so you won't see any pictures.
You can also check out a few of our previous holiday missives:
2008 holiday poem
with bonus grrrlville impossible video
If you miss the blog and want to keep up with our comings and goings, add Marcia and me as your friends on facebook. Hope it's a wondrous year for you and yours.
Grrrlville
21 September 2009
Closing Down the Shop
After five and a half years of blogging, I've decided to stop. Thank you for reading, responding, and just being there. I've enjoyed the process and hope you have too. If you are in the habit of following along with our family and want to stay in the loop, please add me and Marcia as friends on facebook (let us know how you know us) and also on twitter. We would love to stay in touch.
Be well. Enjoy each day,
Grrrlville
03 September 2009
Musical Beds in the House of Grrrls
The season of Back-to-school causes stress, and stress affects sleep, among other things. Lately the sleeping arrangements in our household reads like one of those logic problems on the LSAT test.
In a house lives a family. There are 2 mothers, 2 daughters, and 2 pets. There are three bedrooms containing four beds, each a different size:
toddler
twin
double
queen
Any given morning, nobody wakes up in the bed they began in the previous night. Except for the dog. Viva la crate training!
28 August 2009
Sometimes You Ask Yourself...
How did we get here?
Tonight was the first parent night at Pearl's new school, so Marcia and I both attended, and Marty the babysitter came to hang out with Pearl and Carrie. We are delighted with all the people at the school and feel fortunate to be a part of the community. The teachers are professional and passionate and attuned to the individual child. Our teacher said she wanted to be Lucy Caulkins when she grew up. I was impressed with that.
Nevertheless, the feeling of being parents in a PTA is a bit of a shock to the system. We didn't notice any other two-mom or two-dad families at the event. The discomfort was nothing a good frozen margarita with salt ($4 special on Ladies Night) couldn't quell however. When we got home, the babysitter told us Pearl's last words before she went to sleep. She sat up in bed and screamed: MARTY, I'M IN KINDERGARTEN!!!
31 May 2009
Blogging for LGBT Families on our 12th Anniversary
Mombian sponsors the Blogging for LGBT Families blog carnival each year to orchestrate our hundreds of voices in praise of LGBT families around the world. Feel free to join in.
This year Monday, June 1st, is Blogging for LGBT Families Day 2009. It is also Marcia and my 12th anniversary. Lots to celebrate today--love, families, and happiness.
Marcia and I first met because two of our mutual friends wanted us to meet. It was awkward and artificial. It was not a date, but it was most certainly SET UP. We were helping one of the aforementioned mutual friends move into a new apartment. We "ended up" in the same car for each run. It was 5 months later that we decided that maybe they were right. I guess they were.
Last year we both forgot our anniversary. We managed a little better this year, even arranging a date night at an outdoor concert featuring Esperanza Spalding this past weekend. A dozen years together. That's something, I think. Something big. Wow.
Love is what it's all about.
Thanks, sweetie. And happy anniversary!
08 May 2009
Blogging for LGBT Families Day 2009 is Coming Soon
Get ready, get set! June 1st is the 4th annual Blogging for LGBT Families Day. Anyone can participate. Get the scoop at Mombian and say hi to Dana while you're there.
06 May 2009
Question of the Day: Popping the Question
What's up with same-sex marriage? Suddenly all 50 states are rushing to legalize it? Has the great race for equality finally kicked in? I'm rubbing my eyes as I cruise the news. Should I start saving up for the big W? This is not really something that I've been anticipating.Where would I begin? Help!
04 March 2009
Happy Birthday, Little Blog
The Other Mother has hit another milestone. It's been 5 years, folks. I started the blog a week before Pearl was born, and she'll be 5 next week. Here's a link to the first posts from way back in 2004.
Other good blog news: The Other Mother made the “Top 100 Healthy Mom Blogs” this year, as did our friends at Mombian. The list was compiled by RNCentral, a blog for nursing students.
A five star day, I'd like to think.
26 February 2009
Congrats to All the Winners
Here's a loud shout out to all the winners of the TLL Lezzy Awards for 2009. Hooray, hooray!
Best Lesbian Entertainment/Culture Blog: Dorothy Surrenders
Best Lesbian Humor Blog: Grace the Spot
Best Lesbian Parenting/Wedding Blog: Lesbian Dad
Best Lesbian Feminism/Political Blog: Pam’s House Blend
Best Lesbian Personal Blog: This Girl Called Automatic Win
Best Lesbian 50 and Over Blog: just eat your cupcake
Best Lesbian Gender Bender Blog: Sugarbutch Chronicles
Best Lesbian Sex/Short Story/Erotica Blog: Sugarbutch Chronicles
Lesbian Overall Blog of the Year: Dorothy Surrenders
Congratulation, bloggers! And thanks to our friends at TLL for organizing the awards and bringing the community together around these great blogs!
14 February 2009
What About Love: Let's Celebrate Love
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. That's not exactly what I think, but absence certainly can help put into focus the fondness that you feel. I've been in Chicago this week for the AWP Conference, so I'm absent not only for Valentine's Day but for my valentine's birthday.
Happy Birthday, Marcia. Happy Valentines Day. Thank you for twelve wonderful years, the best years of my life so far. Thank you for your love which is unconditional (I hope) and constant. Let me be your "forever dog."
I love you so much, Robin
888888
Note: This post is last of five entries, part of a blog carnival celebrating Freedom to Marry Week 2009. If you'd like to check out all the bloggers who participated, see this complete list.
Susan Naomi Bernstein on Facebook
The Birmingham-Luther Family Blog
13 February 2009
What About Love: Some/thing Blue
Blue is my favorite color, and it always has been. In my writing I use the word "blue" often. It seems to represent all that is. In this photo, for instance, of earth taken from outer space, the demarcations between land and sea, earth and sky, are impossible to distinguish.
Today's post is dedicated to all of you in the process of trying to start a family. I rarely share my own poems but here is a rare exception. I wrote this about before Marcia and I started to TTC (trying to conceive) process.
Blue That’s Almost Blue
To
a Child, Unborn
A calm moon lends a hush within the room
the night outside fills its envelope with dread
a claw of hope scratches its name across clay
I don't know what to feel because I’m rising into
deep blue music a ceremony of inner weather
I marvel over an imagined, sleeping infant
who dreams of islands I've never visited
never will He and I are two
bodies trembling and separate now and always I
hold my breath, a hostage of the sky.
by Robin Reagler
published in Runes
888888
Note: This post is part of a blog carnival celebrating Freedom to Marry Week 2009. Feel free to write your own post on your blog or facebook page. Then leave the link to your "something new" post, and I will share it with the group. Check out the other posts on this topic:
About.com: Lesbian Life by Kathy Belge
Susan Naomi Bernstein on Facebook and YouTube
The Birmingham-Luther Family Blog
The Longest Road - Yet Untraveled
12 February 2009
What About Love: Some/thing Borrowed
When it comes to outfitting the kids, I love hand-me-downs. I love that they're free and easy, of course. That's a given. But mostly I love them because they're full of stories.
The red shirt that Carrie is wearing in this picture first belonged to her cousin Max. He's 15 now. Red was and still is his favorite color. Then it was his sister Sarah's, then Pearl's, and now it's Carrie's. I look at it and remember my niece and nephew. I remember how they grow up so fast--Max is already 5'10"! Perhaps this is overly sentimental on my part, but I really see the shirt as a connection from one kid to the next. Sibling to cousin to friend, and on down the line.
88888
Note: This post is part of a blog carnival celebrating Freedom to Marry Week 2009. Feel free to write your own post on your blog or facebook page. Then leave the link to your "something new" post, and I will share it with the group. Check out the other posts on this topic:
About.com Lesbian Life by Kathy Belge
Susan Naomi Bernstein on Facebook
The Longest Road - Yet Untraveled
11 February 2009
What About Love: Some/thing New
We have a new pup named Cody. He was a sweet little Jekyll of a boy until exactly 3 weeks after his arrival. On day 22 he transformed himself into 100% pure Hyde-bound hell-on-paws animal chaos. Grrrlville was pretty chaotic before we adopted this fellow. What were we thinking?
Cody has a lot of Marley in him. He aspires to bipedalism. He loves fun and food, and his definition of both of this items is extremely broad. He's scared of Moriah and water. Pearl and Carrie adore him. When visitors arrive as our door, Carrie warns, in the loudest voice she can muster: HE'S NOT TRAINED. She's right about that.
Cody loves the chill winter days. He runs awkwardly, in an unpredictable lope, gulping down gallons of wind and chasing the brittle leaves. He is my boy.
88888
Note: This post is part of a blog carnival celebrating Freedom to Marry Week 2009. Feel free to write your own post on your blog or facebook page. Then leave the link to your "something new" post, and I will share it with the group. Check out the other posts on this topic:
About.com Lesbian Life by Kathy Belge
Susan Naomi Bernstein on Facebook
The Birmingham-Luther Family Blog
The Longest Road - Yet Untraveled
SoCal Mom by Donna Schwartz Mills
10 February 2009
What About Love: Some/thing Old
Our cat Moriah is 20 years old. That's 96 for you or me. Or am I presuming too much? Perhaps there are a few cats who read this blog? You never know. My teacher, the poet Adam Zagajewski, knew my cat when she was a newborn kitten. He and Moriah were neighbors. He begged me, Robin, teach this cat to read before it's too late!
I dare say it is now officially too late. At 20 Moriah is not taught; she teaches. And she is one stern taskmaster. Cody the pup is terrified of her. The rest of us play it cool, but we inevitably do exactly what she says.
I never really wanted a cat. As a kid I was frightened of cats myself. But something happens when the cat in question is yours. In other words, one might fear or dislike CATS but still like one cat in particular. Does that make sense?
Moriah was a gift, one given, not one received. My partner wanted a cat for her birthday. Twenty years later the partner is long gone but the cat remains. For whatever reason, I do love her.
Once when Moriah was a kitten I wrote this description of her:
The marks on her face look like a mask. Who is she? Sometimes she leaves for days. Her eyes send out beams of light into the night. She is a hunter. And then she returns to me, small ball at my chest, kneading, needing.
Although it's been many years since Moriah has done any of these things, the magic is still in her. If you know her, you know what I mean.
88888
Note: This post is part of a blog carnival celebrating Freedom to Marry Week 2009. Leave the link to your "something old" post and I will share it with the group. Check out some of the other posts on this topic:
About.com Lesbian Life w/ Kathy Belge
Melissa Beattie-Moss on Facebook
Susan Bernstein on Facebook
The Birmingham-Luther Family Blog
I probably think this blog is about me
Life induces thoughts, mostly random
The Longest Road - Yet Untraveled
SoCal Mom by Donna Schwartz Mills
09 February 2009
What About Love: The Bloggers
You can join the blog carnival at any time until Feb. 14. This list will be updated throughout the week. To be added, leave a comment with your url. For the blog carnival guidelines, click here.
Melissa Beattie-Moss on Facebook
Susan Naomi Bernstein on Facebook
The Birmiingham-Luther Family Blog
I probably think this blog is about me
Justin's Girl on MySpace
Knot so Different: The Aisle Less Taken
Life induces thoughts, mostly random
The Longest Road - Yet Untraveled
Happy Freedom to Marry Week 2009
It's Freedom to Marry week, and equality is what it's all about. The nonprofit group Freedom to Marry has organized activities throughout the week that encourage dialogue between all people.
“Conversations with the circles of people around us are the prerequisite to winning, the key to helping them push past their discomfort, complacency, or indifference to becoming supportive of our equality.”
--Evan Wolfson, Freedom to Marry Executive Director
In order to facilitate these conversations, Freedom to Marry is sponsoring a number of programs,
including 7 Conversations in 7 Days. If you are a blogger, you can kick off the week by joining the blogswarm. Visit Mombian for more information on that.
As you may know, I am organizing a blog carnival this week, as part of the celebration, and YOU are invited. This afternoon I'll post a list of everyone who is planning to participate, so if you haven't done so already, please let me know. Here's the schedule:
Tuesday, Feb. 10... Something Old
Wednesday, Feb. 11... Something New
Thursday, Feb. 12... Something Borrowed
Friday, Feb. 13... Something Blue
Saturday, Feb. 14... Valentine's Day: Celebrate Love
For more complete guidelines, click here.
05 February 2009
What About Love: Let's Celebrate
Next week is Freedom to Marry Week. Who wants to celebrate LOVE?
I hope you will join me in this blog carnival, which we began last year. The way it works is simple. Each day next week, post to your blog or facebook page something on these topics, according to the "olde" wedding tradition:
Tuesday, Feb. 10... Something Old
Wednesday, Feb. 11... Something New
Thursday, Feb. 12... Something Borrowed
Friday, Feb. 13... Something Blue
Saturday, Feb. 14... Valentine's Day: Celebrate Love
You can post a photo, a memory, a poem, some music, or a combination. Try to surprise us. And once you're done with your post, if you leave a link in the comment section, everyone will be able to check out what you've done.
Feel free to link to The Other Mother, using the "Something" badge. If you're not a blogger, you can participate by leaving a comment. I will be posting links to all contributions here. Just leave the URL as a comment. You can participate all week or whenever you have the time. I'll start by compiling a list of participants, so let me know if you're "in".
If you want to make your story easy to find, use the keyword something2009 .
28 January 2009
Funks, Dogs, and Ventral-to-Ventral Contact
As many of you know, I’m in a bit of a funk lately. According to Marcia, this means that our
state is in a red zone. This includes,
but is by no means limited to, the following four areas:
1)
the state of my hair
2)
the state of our laundry
3)
the state of the refrigerator
4)
the state of my wallet
It also means that bad luck seems to follow me (and my
hair), even when I leave the state we call home. For example, today at work the rear tire on
my Subaru spontaneously exploded. And
then our mechanic said he wouldn’t be able to work on it for a few days because
he just broke his finger!
Anyway, back to the point.
When I am in a funk, I don’t like to read nonfiction books. I’d rather play Scrabble or eat Ben &
Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream or crack open a Swedish mystery
novel.
So, when we got our puppy Cody, Marcia took it upon herself
to read several doggie books for us.
They ranged from beautiful personal stories by authors we know (Mark
Doty’s Dog Years) to old favorites
that have been updated (The Monks of New
Skete: Divine Canine) to new ones that our trainer recommended (Patricia
McConnell’s The Other End of the Leash).
Although Marcia left these books sprawled about in opportune locations such as my bedside table, my desk, and the bathroom magazine
rack, she eventually realized that I had not touched them.
So, Marcia did what anyone with a Partner-in-Funk would do:
she grabbed her highlighter and went to town.
Yes, she actually marked in pink and yellow for me every important
passage I need to read in The Other End
of the Leash to make life with Cody happy and pleasurable. Then she plopped the book on my lap.
One of the sections that Marcia (and through her, I) found
particularly interesting deals with a human’s need for ventral-to-ventral
contact. McConnell argues that humans
find tremendous pleasure in relating chest-to-chest. Like our primate relatives, we also enjoy
holding hands, kissing, and snuggling. The writer explains that this need for touch in us is powerful—it can actually
lower our heat rate and blood pressure.
She says that young girls are particularly fond of hugging
things to their chests— dolls, dogs, you name it—and so far, we are finding
this to be SO true. Pearl and Carrie
constantly fling their arms around Cody’s neck to hug him—tightly, furiously,
as if he is their younger brother preparing to head off to boarding school or some foreign war.
The problem, according to McConnell, is that dogs really don’t like to be
hugged. Many don’t even like the way we
pet them. She even argues that some dogs don’t obey the “come” command because
they don’t want to be patted on the head!
Since reading (the highlighted passages of) this book and
studying Cody’s responses to us, I’ve become much more aware of his body
language and ours. I’m learning to
temper some of my natural tendencies and think about Cody from a canine’s
perspective.
I’m even learning a little
about myself. Cody reminds me to enjoy each breeze, try new foods, and sleep with abandon. Have your dogs (or other pets) taught you anything important?
25 January 2009
09 January 2009
Mombian Fans Only
If you're a Mombian fan, you can vote for that very great lesbian mom blog today. They've been nominated Best Large Blog in the Weblog Awards!
08 January 2009
Top Posts at The Other Mother in 2008
10. She Is - Pearl's Birth Announcement (March 2004) includes a recipe for smothered okra!
9. Birthday Rap - Marcia's Song for Robin's Birthday (September 2008)
8. Question of the Day: Politics and the English Language (October 2008) your thoughts on the BIden/Palin debate
6. Meet the Blogger: Polly Pagenhart of LesbianDad
5. A Costume Question (October 2004)
4. Reader Appreciation Day (April 2008) introducing a meme for bloggers to thank the readers
1. She Was Really Saying Something (Feb. 2008) introducing a meme to celebrate Freedom to Marry week
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